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Things still haven’t been back to normal. He went to AA (detail removed by moderator). He needed to. It also gave me time in the evening to myself. We did the same old nightly routine and lights out. No issues. This morning he made coffee — he makes great coffee. I pour a cup and join him in the living room. I noticed in the dining room he has a (detail removed by moderator) and I say something like (detail removed by moderator) — no response. I sit back down in the living room and say (detail removed by moderator). More silence.
This happens often. It’s as if I’m not in the room and no words were ever spoken. He doesn’t even look up at me to acknowledge I did indeed say something. At least when we fight there is acknowledgment of me and that I’ve spoken. This may be the thing I hate most as he does it when things are good or bad.
I gave him what he wanted most of the morning, my silence. If he were to talk to me, I’d respond cheerfully, but he hasn’t made an attempt to speak to me. Instead, he is now moping. There is no understanding that can be had to make sense of this behavior except control.
I noticed that when he came home yesterday from work he parked behind my car. (detail removed by moderator) We have an (detail removed by moderator), which is where he usually parks his car instead of (detail removed by moderator). I see this as another power play. I can’t go anywhere without first asking him to move his car. I had to ask him to move his car (detail removed by moderator) or tell me where he would like for me to move it, so I could go to (detail removed by moderator). After he moved his car I rolled down the window and said (detail removed by moderator) — no response. I said (detail removed by moderator) That time he responded as if he couldn’t hear me, but anyone who knows me would never call me soft spoken. I’m naturally loud and am often told I’m talking to loudly, even by my husband.
It’s all c**p. It’s all a power trip, one that no one wins.
Why can’t he recognize he has a good thing? Why can’t he be happy with a normal relationship where there are few fights, great communication, and a lot of love?
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Hi Teehee
They’re never appreciative of the life we are offering, their only pleasure is to destroy it, with everything and everyone in it. It gives them a sense of power. They’re such lowlives.
The silent treatment is indeed a power trip, i’d take it as vacation from his abuse, why not clock his silence treatment for your own observation, you might see a pattern emerge, the cycle of abuse. Maybe what’s coming next is anger. Then Mr.Nice again. And so on. Let him stew in his silence.
Why not take the time for yourself and go away to see friends or family.
Wishing you strength and keep believing in your perceptions as you do.
Start thinking of how you’d wish to continue living your life, you’re deserving of a life free of abuse and silly games.
Take care and keep posting 💕 -
My ex is brilliant at the Silent Treatment. The Mega Sulks, proclaiming that it’s just him being him, the total lack of communication, the stonewalling, then when I got fed-up, the blame… On and on and on. Oh the misery. It’s absolutely nothing to do with you. He will make you miserable though. Time to start planning… Please contact Women’s Aid and let them know how you are living.
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