This topic contains 7 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Nolove 2 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #115104
     Nolove 
    Participant

    Its really frustrating that a certain resident is still not locking the back doors overnight! Theres signs on every back door and mentioned in house meetings. I’ve took it up with the staff here again and was told they would talk to the resident and one of the staff said its because some people feel safe here well if that’s the reason for this person not clearly doing is stated to do, do they not care about other peoples safety here and know the importance of the other residents feeling safe too! I’m like a security guard I am..when I shouldnt be having to check all the back doors are locked. I’m not a security guard here..I’m a resident wanting to feel and know I’m safe. Its frustrating me a lot! And dont know who to take this up with next as I’ve already spoke with the staff here and the manager I think..

  • #115105
     KIP. 
    Participant

    That’s really not fair that they’re not locking doors at night. I wonder if you could ask for a brace for your own door to make you feel a little safer. I know I used to sleep with a wedge under my door and drag my bed in front of the door too. Until there’s an understanding that safety comes first.

  • #115106
     Nolove 
    Participant

    I know KIP! Not fair on other residents that aren’t feeling as safe. What’s a brace KIP? I can’t actually lock my flat door..I dont know why? There is a lock but it doesn’t turn. I can only put a chain on my flat door but I’ve moved a bed side cabinet close to my flat door but idk what good that’s going to do..I’m not sure if people can open my flat door as far as the chain let’s them open it. This might be OTT but I feel like I need a bell on my flat door so I can hear if anyone opens it especially if I’m trying to sleep. I feel a bit uncomfortable sleeping if people could open my flat door as far as the chain goes. I’m not sure what you mean you used to sleep with a wedge under your door and drag your bed in front of your door too, maybe it’s a different setup.

  • #115108
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Google Security door brace, door bar, door wedge. Ask why your lock won’t work. It needs fixed urgently. Surely that means people can access your room when youre out? Definitely needs fixed and that should be a priority for them. You can buy a cheap alarm that goes off when the beam is broken too. You need to feel safe to get some good sleep and start recovering. I was talking about my bedroom when I still lived with my abuser and he took the lock off my bedroom door.

  • #115113
     Nolove 
    Participant

    My title was removed by a moderator because they dont want users to think a refuge isnt safe..I feel the front of the refuge is a lot safer but not the back. KIP I dont think the lock on my flat door should work, I dont think its broken but then I dont know why it’s there. I might look at alarms..

  • #115114
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Do you have a personal alarm. Like a rape alarm. They’re really cheap and if you pull the pin out it goes off. You could rig it up on Your door with string so that if the door opens during the night it will pull the pin out. It’s a cheap way to alarm your door and feel safe. Until I felt safe my real healing couldn’t start. I understand why the moderator took the title down because refuges are safe but that doesn’t mean we feel safe. Feeling safe and being safe are hugely different and there’s a lot of anxiety and paranoia that comes after abuse x as your confidence returns you will feel much less anxiety but it will take time. It’s a huge step to go to a refuge and that was very brave if you. Well done you 💪

  • #115115
     Lisa 
    Main Moderator

    Hi Nolove

    I just wanted to show you some support. I can understand why this is making you feel unsafe.

    Individual refuge organisations have their own policies, rules, regulations and separate management committee who are accountable for the practices at the refuge. I think if things don’t improve, the next step is to ask the manager about the complaints process, and to put your complaint in writing.

    I also wanted to say that refuges are generally very safe for anyone who may be considering it.

    Take care and please keep posting,

    Lisa

  • #115116
     Nolove 
    Participant

    Omg KIP that’s a brilliant idea! I do have a rape alarm. Idk how ide rig that up on my door though I’m a bit dumb lol. I’ll try and see what works! Thank you KIP! I would of never thought of that!

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