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    • #12386
      betterdays
      Participant

      Don’t love women. It’s just about them isn’t it??? Me me me…..X

    • #12388
      lover of no contact
      Participant

      Yes, you’re right. These guys (abusers) and some women too (my mum and my boss are abusers (bullies)), are selfish (me, me, me..its all about them and their wants, needs and desires.
      They are entitled, arrogant and dominant. They are addicted to Power and Control in their relationships (not just with us, but with their children, their friends and their work colleagues too). They get a buzz out of seeing us in pain, pain that they have brought about by their abusive actions towards us.

      They get a ‘high’ out of seeing our lives become unmanageable, our minds and emotions a ‘mess’ due to ‘our normal reactions’, to being in contact with them.

      If they weren’t so hurting and damaging and destructive I could almost feel sorry for them, they don’t know how to ever love another human being, they can only love themselves. Selfish, completely to the core. Pathetic.

      At least we can heal from the damage and hurt they have caused us (may take years). They have no hope. They are imprisoned by their own selfishness. We can get free (using the strategy of ‘No Contact’ from them) and go on to live a flourishing life, but they can never escape themselves.

      • #12389
        betterdays
        Participant

        Hi lover of no contact that is completely true. I have my ex now blaming my 2 sons. Saying he had taken on 2 autistic lads aged (removed by moderator) I didn’t know at the time they were autis8 so he’s saying he took them on it were hard wkrk and how a lot of men wouldn’t of done it. X

    • #12391
      lover of no contact
      Participant

      That is a cruel thing to say to you. Everything that comes out of their mouths is horrible. Nothing good comes out of their mouths unless they are trying to ‘flatter’ us, charm us and deceive us.

      They have a ‘bad mouth’, nothing good or true can come from their mouths. Glad you posted his horrible comment about your lovely boys on here so you can get support. That was hurtful and mean.

      Can you go no contact with him so you don’t have to listen to his verbal junk?

      • #12393
        betterdays
        Participant

        Hi lover of no contact. Yes it’s what it needs I’ve heard it all one minute he blames himself and agrees with me then it wernt just him and how I’ve damaged him too… X

    • #12394
      Serenity
      Participant

      What an empty life he must lead, not finding joy in helping, encouraging or nurturing others or helping others in need and feeling proud at doing so- instead, resenting any difficulty in life and resenting life itself and other people for not playing to his tune and being easy or perfect.

      He will never know that feeling of peace that you might have ( sometimes!) of laying your head on your pillow after a hard day and knowing you’ve managed, despite all difficulties, to keep your kids safe and warm and cared for.

      It is in their makeup to think in such an abusive and unkind way, and to have low-tolerance for children, animals and those in need or with disabilities.

      Ironically, I met my ex in the content of caring for those with disabilities. He went interested in caring for those people: he just wanted the visa to work abroad that went with it. And he was poor at caring.

      They don’t like caring for others. They are mean-spirited.

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