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    • #16308
      KIP.
      Participant

      I’m trying so hard to keep him away. Now bail is lifted using legal channels but he writes via his solicitor like nothing has happened. It freaks me out and I have this awful feeling I’m just killing time till he thinks he can walk straight back into my life. How can they be so calm. He’s playing the victim now. I’m trying desperately to keep him away and he’s arguing to get nearer. I feel like I’m the only one that sees this behaviour as strange and dysfunctional. He has a new partner yet he still wants to share things we own and come near where I stay. Do they always keep pushing the boundaries. It’s been ages since he was arrested and convicted. Bizarre?

    • #16311
      Serenity
      Participant

      Hi KIP,

      Just because he is minimising it and inching nearer, it doesn’t mean you have to play ball.

      Believe in your hunches. He is a power freak and an abuser, and he is trying to manipulate everyone into thinking that bygones are bygones- but he will only slap you when he gets a chance.

      Put up the ramparts, pull up the drawbridge, fortify yourself and your home. Instruct your solicitor to only respind and get involved with communication that is imperative. Don’t relax your boundaries- ever! You know who he really is.

      My ex has now written to my solicitor too, bullying me through him. It is our choice to respond.

      Imagine him as a bug that you can squash underfoot. He is pathetic, needy and desperate. Hold onto your power. Complete no contact. If you have the misfortune of passing him in the car, try your hardest to look like you haven’t even registered his presence. Make him feel like nothing- because he is nothing. He contributes nothing positive to this world. He doesn’t deserve a reaction ( hide any reaction from him! )

      If he does anything which can be classed as harassment, log it with the police. Log everything.

      Our users believe that they still own us. They don’t. Work towards being able to ignore him and to not fear his every move. Though they can inflict much damage, they thrive on our fear.

    • #16313
      Confused123
      Participant

      hi hun

      id say just be on guard, u never know when they will creep up on us and slap us when we not looking, trust your gut feeling

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