They cant help themselves

[Confused123]

So after not having no contact for what feels like a year, ex phones me today from a total different no. Took me by suprise, but shows how much i have moved on, where b4 i would of started talking to him and being reasonable i just put phone down and did not pick up when he tried a few times after. They could win a award for their acting but truth is thats all it is an act. Sounded so chirpy when he call but i still put phone down. Listen to how they dont change .

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B4 i would of got stress and felt guilty for no reason, tonight i just carryon with whaqtever i have to do, but had to post just to let u know these men cant change and cant even pretend to be nice.

The other day also I had a guy intrested in me, normally i would of put more effort when i next saw this person, but i thought u know what im just going to be me and noto amke any extra effort to impress any one , time has come for them to impress me

Heres to our recovery, im not saying i dont get trigger days cause i do, but i’m just so happy i’m finally de- attaching, took me long enough

[Peaceful Pig]

That’s brilliant confused that you were able to be so strong and see how ridiculous he was being. I had similar via email last week and I actually laughed out loud at how my ex could contradict himself so much in one email. He really must be stupid.
It’s such a relief to start detaching emotionally. I have since developed a nagging sense that he’s plotting something and I’m sure my instinct will prove correct. It will be tiring and upsetting to see the kids upset again when he does whatever it is, but I don’t feel scared of it anymore.
To recovery! 🍻 Xx

[Confused123]

I think what annoys me more is the fact that after all the abuse and distress he caused he still thinkksa it ok to call me and basically what feels like treat me liek s*** again, this morning i just seem to have tears of releif that i escaped and just anger for the disrespect he shows but again realized they cant move on and leve us alone. THis just shows how strong and effective no contact is, laqdies whoare still in early stage plese find strenmgth to stay no contact, ihave been out x yeaars and am still trigger by any contact with him, when we are first out we are even more fragile and effected more , stick to NO CONTACT. Maybe i am worried about the contact he is going to make with kids, i knwo youngest wil blank him, hope eldest is strong enough to do same too. Another worry, sorry fro the ramble, (detail removed by Moderator)

[Confused123]

Hi P P

I think it seeing us drained they enjoyed and getting us worked up, this why the no reaction in front of them works so well

[Nova]

Confused 123 brilliant that you didn’t let him in …mentally, even though he’s trying to wind you up. The NC is working seriously well done!
It’s the best way forward, and as you point out, what a nerd he is sending you messages and new number, the chirpy act, makes me want to laugh..as we can, at them
So nauseating. They are totally and utterly deluded…they need someone to hide behind as they are non existent in the real world.
The ex is seeing my friend (detail removed by Moderator) about mutual finances…no doubt he’ll be laying on his’good guy’ charm offence…repulsive liars.

Good on you! & PP to recovery is right on!

Hugs
Cx

[Peaceful Pig]

Absolutely, the whole grey rock technique of being totally boring to them really is the only way. I didn’t respond to the email, which was a sign this period of quiet from him is over and it’s time for the gradual build up of attempts to upset me. Last time it lasted a few months and he managed to get me back to fearing him again until I took action which stopped that particular avenue of abuse. Who knows what he’ll dream up this time. Forewarned is forearmed. Your ex will always think it’s OK to treat people this way to get what he wants, but YOU no longer think it’s OK to be treated this way. Stay strong and your kids will follow your lead. Sending hugs xx

[White Rose]

Thanks for posting your strength in no contact. I’m guilty of relapse – again. He had a valid reason (final part of finances still dragging on) but he’s abused this and escslated contact. I need to build my barriers again but he’s giving me the emotional blackmail approach again – BIG time with a health issue he has. I think I’ve upped my awareness and I hope I’m a very very grey rock and that my “send” finger has lost it’s ability to return his messages.

[Confused123]

HI LAdies

Thsx for replies and hope encouraged u to go no contact. wHITE ROSE – SEE IF U CAN AGREE ON EMAIL COMMUNICATION OR ONE SET DAY A WEEK TO DISCUSS ANYTHING THAT NEEDS DISCUSSINGREGARDING FINANCES OTHERWISE NO CONTACT, IF HE TALKS ABOUT OTHER TOPICS REFUSE TO DISCUSS

[Ayanna]

This is wonderful! I am so glad you have reacted the way you did!
Here is to a new and better life!

[Serenity]

Well done, Confused.

They think they are entitled to contact us whenever they want. It’s up to us to put boundaries in place! You’ve done very well x

[White Rose]

Thanks confused and everyone else I’m feeling stronger now.
I’m working on NO contact at all once current money stuff sorted! I had it for several months and its been bliss. He’s refused to do this kast bit via solicitors so there’s been no option as I couldn’t face court costs.
He’s got other stuff on his plate now so I suspect it will all go quiet for a while until he’s ready to pay up the last bit. He has to as its in legal document he’s just procrastinating to p me off!!!

[Author]

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