- This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 2 weeks ago by Anonymous.
17th June 2023 at 6:51 pm #159226FairyliquidParticipant
Its taken months and months of putting in boundaries.
Standing up for myself
Lots and lots of therapy to help claw my life back.
January I was so suicidal that I wrote myself a note saying if things were not any better a year from now I could end my life. But only if I tried my absolute best for one more year to get better (which in hindsight meant get out).
It may be (detail removed by moderator) however they have dome it. They found there new supply and I am free.
I am angry about all the wasted years of my life.
I am morning for the part of my ex that I love dearly. (the person underneath all their past trauma)
I am worried about their new lover (however I am sure she will be ok for the next 9months or so).
I am scared about my future and what that may look like.
However, today I managed at last to block them, delete their number and change the locks. Before I would fight and fight for them to get back with me and not get with there new acquisition.
Today I wished them all the best and asked them not to hurt the next one.
A long way to go… but I can text on my phone without worrying about what my fiends might respond. (They would look through my phone).
I can make plans knowing that I will not have to cancel them.
I can properly start to rebuild relationships I have lost through isolation.
Not worry if the lawn isn’t mowed or I haven’t hung out the washing properly
I can go on the internet late at night without being accused of cheating.
I can look forward to going to events as I knew full well they would be spoilt before getting there.
I can grieve for the family members I have lost this year.
I can stop trying to endlessly please them knowing it would never be enough.
I hope with all my heart they will not destroy their next supply and that we were just toxic together.
I hope to find peace and heal. I pray that one day I will receive love from someone that I am not scared off.
So if any of you are in the worse throws of abuse. Keep going, seek support from wherever you can. I am sending all my love and support to all of you on here. There are brighter days ahead.
17th June 2023 at 10:12 pm #159231MellowBlocked
Your post is quite relatable I’ve not seen my ex in a while I don’t wish him well I think him and his supply deserve each other she’s as n**********c as him but I’m glad I don’t have to worry about him anymore .my life has changed I lived in a dark and gloomy house I wasn’t allowed to paint the walls unless it was beige .was not allowed to refresh the house in anyway and I certainly wasn’t allowed anything girly despite many of us girls living in the house .i now have everything pink and princesses I’m allowed to grow flowers I wasn’t before and if I did he would pull them out I can do what I want.I’m so glad I don’t feel bad for the next girl because she knew about me and she had a plan against me they both bullied me together evil beings.i never mother but she has been told so much about me she hates me and wanted to be with my finance whilst I brought up his two kids there is more to the story but I would show my identity to discuss.i hate I wasted years .especially as it was my youth but life goes forward .i also lost close family he wasn’t there for me I never understood it .he didn’t feel real when my relative past all his words felt fake and he took money later from my deceased.they don’t care when anyone dieS they use it for attention from you and other people
17th June 2023 at 10:20 pm #159232HereforhelpParticipant
Hi Mellow… I was reading this thread… ny husband used to pull up flowers and walls had to be white… the house was so neglected butni wasn’t allowed to do anything to it except clean and that was never good enough… it’s crazy why they woukd be like that, no colours or brightness.. I guess that’s why they try to take our light..
22nd August 2023 at 12:54 pm #161108weatherParticipant
I am really disappointed to hear about what you’ve had to endure and the loss of your family members. I also lived with a Nar’ and I fully understand the traits of one. I was primarily used and coerced economically, and still cannot believe how I was treated by the services that should have protected me. I also feel that the years I spent with the abuser were a complete waste of my life and I sometimes look back and think of how much the gaslighting has affected me. I like you, wasn’t able to develop as a person and forget about having friends that he didn’t criticise or belittle. Just like some of the stories posted on this segment, my abuser was also grooming his new supply and the (2) of them were planning on harming me to acquire even more financial gains. I believe he met this other person through one of his usual alcoholic venues or maybe even through a friend. I no longer want to even think about the (2) of them and wish to never see their nefarious faces again. I got out and am free now. Yes, I get PTSD and that’s understandable, but the core aspect of my life is that I am FREE. I died so many times when I was with the abuser, it wasn’t a life, but a torture chamber riddled with fear, self-doubt, and sickness, and my goodness I so wanted to leave him when I initially met him.
I sincerely hope you remain safe, as that’s the hardest part and unfortunately, there is a lot of these nar’s that tend to gravitate towards gifted, talented and empathic women.
Wishing you all the safety and luck that I can muster,
22nd August 2023 at 5:00 pm #161115AnonymousInactive
Hi mellow Iost my young adult son (detail removed by Moderator) my ex at the time were saying “would you mourn for me if I died? And he said early stages of my sons passing if I’d help him out of a dark place with his gambling addiction who says that when a mother’s lost her son? When I were upset HD said I should get myself together and quick a truly evil man once my son died he started with the flowers and candles he reckoned he were romancing me….. utter rubbish he felt threatened I’d have more time on my hands and wanted me to look after his needs and his sons at yhe times he had access all about them evil man
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