They never stop us feeling bad

[Confused123]

Hi ladies

Gosh am I glad I can finally post on here again , it feels like lifetime since I last spoke to ladies on here even though only been month or two , so update on my scenario , finally gave my statement to police about abuse I had endured , not as hard as I expected , what is hard is waiting off him to get arrested , waiting and thinking have I made right decision ,his moved on from me I think , he pays no CSa , leFt debt for me to clear, is working hard to run his business which none of us will benefit as his brother is helping him get out of debt only to keep all so I get nothing , ex s in law said I’m stupid for making her brother life difficult. Facts like he beat me up and tried to kill me don’t get inc as I’m still alive , so what’s big deal . Wow how will they feel when his arrested , again I shouldn’t care whAt they say or think but I do , so sitting here trying to fight this guilt and feeling of badness , my friends and fAmily say get justice and follow through , just don’t know what to do , eldest went and saw his dad , saw photo of them together , miss ex so much, don’t miss beatings but something about this mAn don’t know what but I miss him , have to keep looking at his pic and remind myself no matter how good he looks, no matter how much his person u wanted him to be underneath he is very evil and can offer u nothing but then I still want him , how stupid am I , the fact that he scares me sensesless is what is keeping me away but temptation is there …

[2BFree]

Confused, it’s been a while since I have been able to post too! Reading you post here you have come so far and should feel so proud of what you have achieved!
I am in the thick of things here with this week being key for many reasons.
you know you have made the right decision, and I hope all your family, friends are being supportive for you.
take care and sending you a big hug x

[Serenity]

Hi Confused, think of him/ it as a nicely wrapped present. It looks beautiful and you very much hope that the quality of the present reflects the wrapping.

But you open the box, and there is either something very small, or nothing at all, or something not very nice.

This is like our abusers. I tried to think of this image whenever I felt myself doubting the evil he was capable of due to his extraordinary gift of appearing so nice when he wanted ( he was a beautiful man physically too).

The real him is the one who is working only for himself and who treated you so dreadfully.

Ignore his family. You are so brave. X*x

[Author]

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