Things aren't going to plan

[hop]

I wish I was dead. I’m out and about and all my stuffs been cancelled. I don’t know what to do! I know I don’t feel right because I feel like going and jumping in the river because things aren’t going to plan. It’s a long time since I felt like this 😭 I should have gone straight home but I haven’t 👀 f*****g hell!!

[Lisa]

Hi there Freedomfries, I am so sorry to hear about how you are feeling. I understand how frustrating it must be that your appointments have been cancelled.
Remember that you can call the Samaritans at any time on 116 123.
Please remember that we are here for you.
Do let us know how you are when you can.
Best wishes
Lisa

[Alittlelost]

Im sorry your feeling this way. Im feeling very suicidal too atm so i totally understand how bad u must be feeling. We gotta keep on fighging on to survive. Let us know ur ok.hugs.

[hop]

Thank you so much for your replies. I’m so sorry you’re feeling the same alittlelost. It’s awful! I wandered around the shops now I’m in my way home. I really don’t know how to keep from hurting myself. My thoughts can only think that killing myself is the only way to stop these feelings. People can’t help me until there’s a solid reason. I can’t go and say I feel like this….in my mind it’s nothing until I can say look how I’m feeling and they can see it. I know it’s not normal thinking because I would always try and help people before it got that bad but I can’t do it when it’s me

[Eve1]

Ring the Samaritans now. They are there for you. I’m thinking about ringing then myself, cos I’ve just started to spiral at the thought of maybe having to actually speak to my ex. They are so helpful and don’t judge. I hope you can do this.

Love

Eve

[KIP.]

I know it won’t feel like it but each time you overcome these thoughts you’re building resilience. You’re stronger than you know. Ring your GP, Samaritans, breathing space, domestic abuse helpline. I was a regular for a while just to get it all out x I used to feel like you do and it makes me sad because I want you to know that you can heal from this and it’s a phase you need to pass through. Just like the other feelings, hold them, embrace them, feel them but don’t act on them. Just ride through it again. When you’re going through hell…… keep going. This too shall pass. Look up the story of King Solomon this too shall pass x

[hop]

Thanks for helping me xx
I’ve been in this phase for more of my life than I haven’t. I know I haven’t felt this bad for ages because one part of me knows definitely, without a shadow of a doubt that this too shall pass…….now instead of stopping there I already know that this isn’t the last time I’ll feel like this and even though the feelings this time will eventually pass the cycle won’t pass it just keeps coming round and round again to me. I’ve tried ringing a few places but I don’t know what to say. All this is n in my mind so it’s like I’m making it up. Nobody can see I’ve got something wrong with me because if I felt okay then I’d be ok…… Im so tired

[hop]

I can’t believe how bad I feel. Half my head feels like it’s seizing up and my neck and back all the muscles are tensed up. Why is this happening to me 😭 I need a release for all these feelings I can feel them buzzing inside me against my skin. I don’t feel properly in my body either. I’m sorry I keep posting nonsense I feel like I’m going to be sick 🤮 I’m waiting it out I really owe it to myself to try something new. I honestly don’t want to be someone who hurts myself to feel normal. I just want to be normal

[Alittlelost]

I totally get how ur feeling. People see me and think im fine cos i seem and look normal but im far from. I hope u can find a way to distract urself from the urges.

[hop]

I’m trying my best I’m doing all the stuff I should be doing to stay safe I just need to keep it up for a few hours more 🤮

[KIP.]

Would it help you to write it all down. It helped me to write my feelings in a journal. To get it out on paper. Out of my head. Keep telling yourself you’ve been here before and got past it. The cycle often gets longer between the bad bits, at least you know what you’re dealing with.

[hop]

Thanks kip. I think I’m going to try writing it down. It’ll help me unjumble this stuff, ey. It’ll take up some time and energy. Thanks so much ft or helping me kip

[KIP.]

Try also to have a heLpful mantra for times like this. Something like ‘I’m strong and will get through this’ I won’t give him the satisfaction’ ‘tomorrow will be a better day
Just use whatever works for you. You’re doing great x

[Author]

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