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Hello all. I felt that I had to share something with you. You all know that I tried to get things moving forward with my divorce and I was so positive about it all. Well there has been a set back which is not my fault and not really his it is just a procedural delay just one of those things. Now I’ve taken it well because I know I’m standing my ground and pursuing this divorce and I know it will happen it’s just because of life! Sometimes life gets in the way and you can’t get what you want done as quickly as you can but that’s ok. I am really proud of how I am handling this setback and there is something else bothering me too but I’ve grown such a thick skin through this that I’m actually dealing with this better than I thought I would. I have life skills now that I didn’t have before and in my mind and body I can feel peace and be happy with myself no matter what fire has been ignited around me. I actually woke up this morning and say what should I do for myself? Wow it felt great I felt at peace with myself. I went back to an old exercise class I’m doing the same again next week and also I’m going to do a food shop and start experimenting and cooking again! I love looking after myself in that way it’s been months and months of not doing that but now I’m ready to. It maybe a very small thing I’m doing here but it’s such a step in my recovery. I’m feeling like I can enjoy the things I once did and I can make decisions about my life that are tight for me. Life after abuse is honestly so great you have your ups and downs but once you’ve had most of your downs it’s up up up. I’ve also been on the waiting list for counselling for a few weeks now so I’m getting closer to that and I’m going to take the plunge and make an appointment with my GP next week something has been holding me back from doing it though x
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Hello. I actually went to a few sessions when I was married to him you know at the beginning as I wanted to work with victims of dv. I can’t do the full course because of work commitments 😐. However, I would love to do it at some point. You know what I’m actually loving things right now the chaos keeps disappearing and because of what’s going on with delays I know I’ll have some time where nothing will be happening with the divorce and I can start to think about who I am and what I want in life again. Every weekend in October is booked up with something or the other can’t wait 😊. I’m also considering booking myself onto a Buddhist meditation course for the day. I was going to do it with a friend whose struggling with her own things right now but she can’t make it and I’m strong enough to do things like that myself I just need to book onto it. October is the best month by far I’m going to start getting things in the diary for November 😊. These are all people I wasn’t allowed to see well guess what…not anymore! X
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Thank you for that 😊. I do have days where it hits me but I’m trying to still take each day as it comes. Another family friend found out today there were hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of guests at our wedding and to then for everyone to know you had an abusive relationship is really really shattering each time. Thing is we as a family are only saying the absolute minimum to whoever we need to as it’s my private business but I think once everyone finds out I’ll be really really relieved and I’ll feel I can just be myself if that makes sense. This family friend said that this family I married into was not of the same standard as our family and he said he could tell that my husband was not right. It’s just a stand I found this out later but never mind you live and learn. I’ll rise again from all of this I’m a good person I deserve good things and that’s what I’ll get x*x
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That’s great, Positive.
You’ve really expressed how, despite serious difficulties and pain, the feeling of being free overrides everything.
I think some ladies here get disheartened when they read posts and where women are struggling, but you have described exactly what I would love to say to them- the positives far outweigh the negatives. X
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Thank you for your comments. I definitely feel like I’m much better off without him. I can love again but this time round I’ll be able to love someone who deserves my love. I am not getting judged by my community and I’m being respected over this. I’m so proud of myself I look back at myself a year ago and I was emotionally and mentally unstable because of him. I feel a sense of belonging again which I lost and I would never ever subject myself to return. Also, I was around someone in a social setting who was adored by all the women around him. Something didn’t quite add up about him I just had a bad feeling. I am definitely a very judge of character now I know I will not get involved in the same trap again these men stick out like a sore thumb. I’m now at the stage where I am starting to feel content in myself. I am able to pay off my wedding debt soon, divorce is paid for and now we everything that I earn is for me, my future and how I want to shape my life. Ladies I promise you will get through this you are lioness’s and built with strength to the core. We will win this battle time and time again. X
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