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Haven’t had any post for ages, am expecting paperwork from my lawyer which hasn’t shown up. Wrote to lawyer – definitely sent.
Can’t see how he could have messed with my post. Am still getting the odd piece. It’s the paranoia that’s annoying me more than anything!
That I am even thinking about sending a test letter to myself!
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Didn’t sleep last night – kept hearing things. Have woken up with sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if he has redirected my post without my knowledge? What if he has access to my home and has been taking my post? What if? What if?
Logically these are unlikley (he couldn’t organise his way of a paperbag!) but I hate feeling this way – the what if’s…
I have made a test envelope to send to myself to test. I feel pathetic – like if I told anyone in real life they’d look at me like I was nuts!
Iwillbeok x
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iwillbeok first of all you are not nuts. This is all part of the abuse, he has distorted your reality so much so that you feel driven to behaviour that feels unusual and alien to you. For me there was no easy solution. I tried appealing to him, I tried ignoring him, I tried so many different approaches. I think stepping back and letting your solicitors take all this on is probably best. I wrote to my ex telling him he could no longer communicate with me directly and that everything had to be through a third party. Then fill your life with things that make you happy and give you comfort. I found watching movies in bed curled up with my cat made me feel he was so far away and couldn’t touch me anymore. One movie I watched on repeat was Wild, I recommend.
But you are not crazy or pathetic, you are adjusting to a new reality and it will take time. Look after yourself
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