Thinking it’s all my fault

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to add to my previous post that what did happen after hearing about their new relationships was that I somehow saw it as a proof that I had failed, that those two men had been right in their criticism, that I had deserved the abuse, that it had all been my own fault, that something was wrong with me, etc. As if they would be such bad guys, they wouldn’t be in new relationships, right? If Mr. A was so horrible, a new woman wouldn’t have put faith in him as the father of her child, right? And if Mr. B was so mean, he wouldn’t have won the heart of a woman (detail removed by moderator) years his junior, right?

[Confused123]

you didnt fail them hun, they failed u , they just were not the one for u ,they are in relationship as they know how to pull ladies with their charm , its their damm charm we all fall for

[Starmoon]

It’s not true, you haven’t failed. I know it’s pretty crazy but a long time back I contacted 2 of my ex’s previous girlfriends. One he has a child with (who he’s never met) (detail removed by moderator).. both these girls told me how he’d be evil to them, how it had taken many years to get over him and build themselves back up again. Although I still took him back many times… I try to reassure myself that I wasn’t the only one he treated badly and it wasn’t me who failed… but it’s him who’s not capable of having a meaningful relationship. X

[Janedoeissad]

These guys can charm people. So they will often find someone new pretty quick. Then as everyone else has said. They get mean again. You sometimes never get to hear that as some women are too ashamed to say they fell for the same tricks you did.

Don’t for one minute think that any of it was your fault. It wasn’t.

Please also don’t confuse a player, charmer and abuser for a decent human being.

[Author]

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