Viewing 9 reply threads
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    • #123296
      Nikita
      Participant

      It’s my first day on here and I’m nervous like it’s first day at school. I suppose the thing I’m worried about is being dismissed and told that I’m ridiculous. No idea where to even begin..

    • #123299
      Hawthorn
      Participant

      Hi and welcome to the forum Nikita😊

      Feel free to share whatever you like, I’ve always found it easier to respond to either people than start threads myself, you’ll find what works for you. Post as much or as little as you like, no one will dismiss you or think you’re ridiculous. It takes immense courage to reach out, you’re very brave.xx

      • #123881
        Nikita
        Participant

        Hi Hawthorn

        Thank you for your response. I felt a lot stronger when I joined than I do today. I fell for my ex’s lies agai a d right back into his trap. All that just so that he could belittle me and my feelings once more. Feeling like a fool, I should have known better.. I wonder if there’s a way to make sure not to fall again.. xx

      • #123886
        Hawthorn
        Participant

        Hi Nikita,

        I’m so sorry you’re feeling down on yourself. Wanting to give someone you loved another chance doesn’t make you foolish, it makes you compassionate. Sadly abusive men will take advantage of that compassion every time. You will get stronger by saving that compassion for yourself; treat yourself very kindly, like you would a child who was hurting. You would give then lots of reassurance, a cuddle, give them some treats and make sure they were eating and sleeping well. Try not to “should” yourself. We all make mistakes, but we can learn from then. To err is human. Forgive yourself. Beating ourselves up and feeling bad about ourselves is how these men manipulate us. Strength comes from self compassion and kindness. So be very kind to yourself. Recovering from abuse is rollercoaster, feeling down is part of it. Dont fight it, an upswing is coming x*x

    • #123300
      Lottieblue
      Participant

      Hi @Nikita and Welcome from me too!

      If you’re not sure where to start, I would just have a good browse! You might find it easiest to go on to the boards eg “is it abuse?” or “getting out” as you will find the topics grouped together there.

      Spend as much time reading as you would like – you can get heaps of good advice from other people’s posts. And when you’re ready to start telling your own story, if that’s what you want to do, then we’re ready to listen.

      LB 💕💕

    • #123302
      Rosemary
      Participant

      Welcome Nikita

      I’ve not long joined here and people have supported me in my post gave me advice . Once you settle in you will be okay . It makes you nervous at first I was the same . Take your time when you feel comfortable to post we are here for you .

      This is a lovely group we are care for each other
      Share our worries thoughts and problems. It help
      Me get thought my days and nights being here.
      I really appreciate the support I’ve had.

    • #123314
      Living Warrior
      Participant

      Good morning nikita and welcome.
      You shouldn’t feel nervous, we have all experienced the same things, maybe just in a different way to eachother. We all have been that “new person” at some point and we all know how daunting that can be. I’m a firm believer in “the only silly question, is the one not asked” and “you never know how good things can be untill you try” no matter the circumstances of why you are here, you are here to find ways to make your situation better, whether its in a little way, like just venting, or a big way, like getting out. We are a support system, we are all here for you. dont hesitate to post, message, or vent in any way. If it only makes YOU feel better, its worth it, but if it helps other people to express their feelings and thoughts too… well more the better. 🙂 good luck with your journey.
      We are all here for you. x

    • #123318
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Nikita,

      Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I hope you find the forum a supportive place to be. It is great to see you have already had replies.

      If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (weekdays 10am – 4pm and 10am – 12pm weekends). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

      Do keep posting to us when you can.

      Best wishes,

      Lisa
      Forum Moderator

    • #123369
      Nikita
      Participant

      Thank you all for your replies. I’ve read them all twice and for the first time in a long time I felt that maybe it’s ok to be me on here, and not being made feel completely insignificant. I’ll be here on my good days and especially on the bad ones. Hope we all get through the tough times and come out the other end xx

    • #123377
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Hi Nikita, (I’ve always loved that name) Welcome to the forum and big hugs for finding the courage to post. Once you’ve broken the ice, it suddenly gets easier. You’ll find that the ladies here will understand; honestly I think they are the only people that really do. I dip in and out of the forum at the moment (stuff going on) but I hope you will feel able to share your experiences with us.

    • #123378
      Nikita
      Participant

      Trying to break the ice and because everyone is so welcoming and warm here, it’s good to log back in😊. It’s my little escape from the bad side of life xx

    • #123379
      Sleepypigeon
      Participant

      Hi Nikita, wanted to say hi.
      Fairly new as well, and I’m glad you have found this as I did.
      It’s also for me, been a haven away from what is happening on the outside.
      Post what u feel, or when. I also read through a lot of posts previous I guess to see if what I thought or felt was real. It was so helpful to know I wasn’t mad,crazy or more importantly, alone.
      Sending hugs, cause we could all use one sometimes x

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