This is no life…….

[mixed-up mum]

Well last night after tea sat down to watch a bit of TV with my daughter – as per usual never saw the end of the programme!!!!

She spent all evening sitting watching TV in silence, while I slept in the chair – this is not fair on her – she watches TV while I sleep – I WANT TO watch it with her, and chat to her, but I just CAN’T stay awake.

Last weekend I couldn’t sleep, was up ALL night – now the problem is I can’t stay AWAKE!!!!

Last night I woke up at 2am in the chair, she had gone to bed, she must have been fed-up of sitting there in silence all evening, no one to speak to.

I feel so sorry for her I do WANT to spend time with her – but I just CAN’T stay awake.

I went to bed at 2-00,and slep then to 5-45, been up since then – sat on my own in the sitting room, watching all of last weeks Corrie that I’ve slept through!!!!!!

She most likely won’t be up for another 2-3hrs yet, and so this is how things have become, I’m sitting here on my own all morning, trying not to make a noise and wake them up, and my daughter sits ‘alone’ all evening while I sleep in the chair – this is no life for us.

My sleeping patterns have gone all to pot, and I don’t know how to get it back on track, and get some time with my daughter again.

I always was one who would ‘drop off’ in an evening – but it would be for 10-15 mins, maybe half an hour, but of late its been HOURS – the whole evening – that’s not right, its not normal.

Mind you, yesterday I had been awake since 5-15 ( making sure my son was off of Xbox and in his bed) so I had been up early yesterday – and I did try so hard to stay awake, but couldn’t. I never expected to sleep ALL evening in the chair.

I’m missing out on time with my daughter, through the week when I’m working and she’s at College the evenings are the only time we get together – I don’t want to spend it sleeping, but I just can’t help myself……

[Falling Skys]

Hi Mum

Don’t punish yourself you need the sleep. Have some time together today, make a joke about getting old and falling asleep. We all do it xx At least you were in the same room, your sleep will settle down in the end.

FS xx

[mixed-up mum]

Thank you Falling Skys – its nice to hear from you – you are so good at replying to people, and you always seem to know what to say.

Well things haven’t gone too good today, I stayed up until 12pm, went for a lie down, did just hear my daughter get up, then I drifted off, that was me then until 2-30.

We chatted for a little while, then I sat in bed and wrote a letter Id stared but never finished, I got so many sympathy cards when my dad passed away, and I trying to thank people personally.

Got up and ended up having a big row with my son, re food and washing – half the time he won’t eat what we are eating – so I have to buy and cook two meals.
Then there’s the problem of his washing, he will wear something once the leave in in a crumpled heap on the floor, or he can’t be bothered to take all his clothes off and just takes off his jeans, and sleeps in his clothes.
Well I don’t have a tumble dryer, and for the past 4 weeks I’ve not been able to get washing out, and so there is no clean clothes for school tomorrow.
At the moment all he has to wear is 2 pair of jeans and 4 hoodies – and they were all on his bedroom floor – I told him if he had to wash and dry all his clothes he would take better care and not just wear a thing once and dump it on the floor.

I said from now on I’m not cooking your meals or washing your clothes until you make more of an effort – its costing me more money to buy and cook two meals and its costing me more to have to wash and iron things that have only been worn once, he does not have that much clothes that he can afford to wear clean every day.

He just takes it for granted that if he won’t eat what we are having then I will coook something else for him – he is no help with food prep, he won’t set the table (unless I ASK him to), he comes to the table, gulps down his food and leaves as soon as he can, (won’t even sit at the table ’til we are all done) never helps clear the table, then that’s the last we see of him until I make him get off of Xbox and go to bed.

He just expects me to have his clothes washed, dried, and ironed all ready for him, never a thought as to how it gets to that stage!!!

He is at an age now where he is leaving school, and yet he still expects (and gets) me to do everything for him – well that didn’t happen today.

After our row I went back to bed, slept for two hours, then my lovely daughter woke me up, she had made the tea for me and her, which was so thoughtful of her – did it on her own with no help from her brother – he would not eat what we were having, and so he DID make his own!!!

After tea I just wanted to go back to bed, and slept again for another hour and a half.
Got up and spent a little time with my daughter before she went to bed, and I managed to sit up and have a coffee, going to try and get some sleep now…..but I have slept for 5 1/2hrs out of 13hrs and so not been able to do anything very much today, not washed a dish, not made any food, not done any washing, or tidying, nothing that a mum SHOULD be doing…. I haven’t even had the energy today to get showered and dressed, so all in all not a good day – all I managed to do was argue with my son and in the process fall out with him…..

What a lovely weekend – NOT!!!!

I just feel like I have no life in me – totally drained – no energy to do the most basic of things – I just don’t even feel like me – I hope this is just a tiny blip, and I will get back on track tomorrow……

Goodnight ladies – hope we all sleep well. x*x

[SaharaD]

Hi mixed up mum. I don’t have children. I am assuming that your children are teenagers. When I was a teenager all my parents did was work and sleep. They would often fall asleep in the chairs and on the sofa while watching tv. I never felt resentful for that because I knew they were just tired.

Your daughter seems more understanding and your son seems indifferent either way.

You seem to be putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself. Of course if you are stressed out, not sleeping or recovering from trauma, you will end up sleeping more. I struggle myself and I don’t do half of what you do. Sort of a double espresso and two red bulls I say just go with it.

Life is hard enough without making it harder on ourselves.

[Author]

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