This time of year, so hard

[Butterflyboo]

I’m out and glad I’m out, but struggling so much with this time ofor year. Tears, so much hurt an and loneliness, not being believed, people falling for his stories. I just want this Xmas over and done with. Im tired of having to be strong, of putting on a face for everyone. Huge hugs for anyone out there also struggling at this time.

[iwillbeok]

Hugs back at you, hon! I’m free too, but also feeling a bit fed-up of thinking about what was… missing the good bits and analysing the awful bits..

Hang in there x

[Borntobefree]

Hugs to you too

Iam same can’t wait till this is all over
My emotions are all over the place

X

[Butterflyboo]

Thank you lovelies, sounds mad but it helps to know I’m not on my own feeling like this. My head is all over the place and I feel really lost and weak and vulnerable right now. I ^know^ it will get better, but right now it all feels too much. Somehow got to get my act together by tomorrow so I can hold it together for the kids, but at the moment the tears just keep coming. I hate so much that he still has this impact on me, I want to be able to hold my head up and say I don’t care – so b****y hard when people have fallen for his bull and feel sorry for him and think I’m awful for leaving him 🙁

[Borntobefree]

Hi butterflyboo
You did the right thing by getting out with your kids you are free from abuse ..
Hopefully next year will be better for us all
And the pain gets easier to manage x

[IrisAtwood]

Hey Butterflyboo, no you are not on your own. I feel a similar way. When I tell people the whole thing I sometimes think that they don’t believe me or that they think I am crazy (which is what he used to call me.)

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi Butterfly,

I always struggle a bit with this time of year too, this year is no different as I am living alone now and it feels really strange and sad thinking that if he had been a good man I wouldn’t have needed to be alone. I miss the person I thought he was, I feel very sad about losing what I thought I had, and losing the aspects of the relationship that I liked. That cognitive dissonance where you remember both the good and bad is really the most confusing thing.

I am at least happy to be in an abuse-free zone chilling out with the cat watching films with my very own Christmas tree all for me 🙂

[Author]

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