Those wth experience of continuing child contact

[Rubymurray]

To all those women that have left recently or in recent years and kept contact with child –

I’m about to leave this week….. and posted once about contact recently, but thought I’d direct my questions more at those who are there or been there already.

Please tell me more about your experiences with going no contact for you but still him having contact with child…. your different ways of doing it, (removed by moderator), when you need to communicate regarding child, how do you do it etc etc. Thanks

[Rubymurray]

Bump x

[mysunflower]

hi i am currently in the same situation, you could try communicating through a family member on each side to avoid unneeded contact with the ex. it is much harder when children are involved but it isn’t impossible. well done for getting out and good luck x

[seaglass]

Hi, I am in a similar position and can’t seem to find out much. I had a telephone appointment for some legal help through the local woman aid and she reccomended an APP you can use to make arrangements to avoid talking etc. But I am unsure how to work out the contact etc – legally it seems that the suggestion is to do it amicably but I think my partner will push for 1/2 and 1/2 care which if it were just an usual situation may work but I don’t know that it is appropriate for him to have our child for 50% of the time, and I’m not sure I want him to. So what then? I have another appointment with a solicitor on (detail removed by Moderator) to find out more, but I don’t feel I can ask him to go until I understand how it may all pan out.

[Rubymurray]

yeah pretty similar seaglass, except i left this week. eeeeeeeeeeeek

[diymum@1]

I had to stop contact as you know but that was after many years of continued contact. 50 50 contact as u say works fine when there is no abuse including emotional because inevitably it does damage. There’s no getting round that fact. Just make sure you guide your solicitor rather than the other way round. As most don’t get the dynamics of domestic abuse. Basically it will depend on if he can contain himself around you if you plan to handover yourself and pick up. How he will behave around the kids will he undermine you ? Will he ask them to relay messages – will he manipulate them xx you’ll know him best and (detail removed by Moderator) will expect you to be reasonable in the time you offer x it will depend on how long it’s been since they last saw him. So if not long ago you could offer alternate weekends? You’ll be asked about holidays birthdays Christmas xx this is how this starts if goes well great if not then that’s when u need advice from your gp WA xx

[seaglass]

@rubymurray Well done! May I ask what you decided regarding the child contact ?

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