Thought I was going to die

[Rainbowcloud]

So I’ve been on here before and I had hun back more then once.
(detail removed by Moderator) was the worst day we drove out won’t say where and (detail removed by Moderator) I was scared I knew he was gonna flip.
All the way he never spoke and I said are we going to talk now then because it’s awkward.
He just flipped saying it’s all my fault I’m a c**p parent c**p at washing and the house is a mess. Going on about losing my job and what am I doing all day by this point he’s driving like a loon saying how unhappy he is his life is a mess because of me and I make him like this he was happy before.
I was scared asked him to let me out he wouldn’t as soon as we got to the place I jumped out was in the middle of nowhere no phone nothing.
In the end I had to get in the car with him he’s bawling at me then he locked the doors drove me to this layby said he was gonna tache me once and for all about my big mouth and cos I was crying outside the car at the place we went to and people seen. I started screaming he’s never hit me properly just threw things. He took his seatbelt off and was about to go for it and the door unlocked thank god and I ran down the road there was no pavements or nothing it’s in the sticks this place . I had no money no phone nothing in the end he parked up told me to get back in the car just sitting there on the horn like a mad man after ten mins I got back in in the back seat.
He’s still ranting at this point it’s (detail removed by Moderator) drive home and he’s driving like a moanic spitting when he talks I was so scared.
I just sat there as
Anything I said would of made it worse and he’s driving at 100 telling me he doesn’t care if he dies.
I got home shaking like a leaf and he dropped me on the pavement and drove off he lives here so all his things are here still.
He’s been messaging me since saying if I never jumped out we woild of been ok etc it was my fault I set him off and all this and he’s fed up with his life . He’s never treated a woman like that before and I make him do it.
Just so awful I’ve got kids aswell I had to come home
To them and try act normal.
He’s coming (detail removed by Moderator) to get his stuff but I can already see what he’s doing trying to blame for what happened all because of a tiny thing.
I was so scared in that car everyone’s warnings about him my friends etc just flooded back and I felt stupid for believing this person had love and had changed.
I’m
Still partly blaming myself if I was better like he says etc because I’m not working at the mo then maybe he treat me better but I know deep down it ent true but I believe what he says.
I don’t want him near me (detail removed by Moderator) I don’t want him at my house at all I’m so scared of him today showed me
How scared I was of him my heart was beating so fast in that layby he said I drove him to it I want him to hit me so I can tell people I cannot go back this time I can’t I know that

[Appleblossom]

Oh my goodness. How awful. Get in touch with someone, the police or call the national domestic helpline please. Don’t let him gas light you. Don’t let him into the house. Please keep safe. I had similar things happen to me though not to the extent you’ve just gone through. Please make sure you’re safe. Lock your doors, don’t let him in. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.

I’ve just come out of a similar situation and I’m in a better place. Believe it’s going to get better.

Look after yourself. Sending you
Massive hugs

[Rainbowcloud]

Thankyou so much just woke having an awful nightmare I was choking awful 🙁 I won’t go back now ever

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi Rainbow cloud,

Wow what an awful terrifying experience, he sounds extremely abusive and dangerous. Like Appleblossom said he is now gaslighting you, saying it was your fault and that you ‘drove him to it’ and trying to get you to question yourself so that you’ll stay with him.

If a man thinks it’s ok to drive a woman to a lay by and take out the seatbelt to beat her I fear what else he might do. Don’t wait until he hits you like you said, he is already extremely abusive, most abuse is not violent and starts small and escalates. Definitely call the police and the helpline and your local domestic abuse team. Don’t let him in the house. Get support from friends, family, a neighhour if you can. Put your safety and your children’s safety first.

Listen to the fear you felt, I too felt fear of my ex for weeks when he was seemingly being ‘nice’ so it initially made no sense to me. But my gut was right as he later got threatening and hostile and at another point he put his hands around my neck then denied having done it, gaslighting me. I am certain the danger would have escalated had I stayed, I didn’t wait to find out.

So sorry to hear you are going through this, it is not your fault at all, it is 100% his fault, he is choosing to behave like this and nobody has the right to do that.

[lover of no contact]

Hi Rainbowcloud,

That is such a traumatic experience that your intimate partner put you through. I’m so glad you posted for support. Please ring Women’s Aid as well for support. You want to stop the abusive relationship now that he’s really shown his true violent and crazy behaviours and you felt you were going to die..at his hands. However he will not want the cycle of abuse to stop. He will try everything to not let you go ,,,but if you stay firm to his manipulations/nasty/nice or threats to get you back in contact with him eventually he will let you go. He may still attempt a ‘hoover’ to be in contact with him many years down the road, even if he had another partner as he gets a big high from your ‘fear’ and ‘upset’ due to him. So keep close to this Forum over the next while to get the strength to withstand his pressure to get you back in contact with him.

Please keep posting you have had an awful and terrifying experience and you have little ones dependent on you. Reach out to family and friend support as well.

[Rainbowcloud]

Thanks everyone for the messages of support.
He’s now saying he will get anger management because he knows he has anger issues and he will sort it out etc
I know deep down it’s a lie and when he’s nice it’s great and I hold on for those times but if I let him back what will he do next ?
He has acted like this before but never to that extent it’s worrying woild he kill me you just don’t know with them.

[KIP.]

Abuse always gets worse. As proven by his actions. How bad does it have to get before you accept his is a dangerous violent man? Yes, he can easily kill you. Three women a week are killed by a current or ex partner. My ex said he had anger management problems but he only had them with me, when the door was closed and there were no witnesses! Can you imagine if he did those things to a stranger? He would go to jail for a very long time. Why should it be ok that he doesn’t them to you? Save yourself x remember the title of your post….. and trust your gut x

[Rainbowcloud]

I think as he never hit me before it’s been (detail removed by Moderator) years he’s thrown things though as pushed me over before.
But I am scared of him now I was always wary but now I’m actually scared of him.
He knows that aswell and he enjoys it at the moment he’s doing the whole crocodile tears all his stuff is still here on purpose.
When they are nice it’s great but then they just turn on you I will never trust another man again now

[Freedom@friends]

I hope you and kids a safe and happy future away from that vile creature.

[Anonymous]

Hi rainbowcloud. My ex did this to me a few times but only his autistic son were in the car. Then after he had terrified us he would say sorry and he admitted he needed help and needed to get it. Within weeks after another one of these traumatic experiences he were in a new relationship with a women. Nice hey??? There evil twisted liars who love power. Keep well away love. Its taken me (detail removed by moderator) decades to realise his twisted games. But now i have im not playing it no more….

[Author]

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