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We had reached an agreement about our child. It was in writing. He had got a lot more than he should have. But it wasn’t what he WANTED. So (detail removed by moderator) days later he’s kicking off, sending emails to everyone. One of which is my ex who I have other children with. He’s not responding to my very basic and essential messages about our child. Sending messages through nursery.
Our child is little so is oblivious. She loves him, is happy to go and happy when she comes back. Is there no protection against the mud slinging? He hates me so much. I’ve stuck to every rule, every order. I’ve been reasonable and fair. At what point does his behaviour towards ME be recognised as abusive? He’s clever and being careful with our child. He’s played a good game so far with our child, not so much with me. He’s been recognised as bullying and intimidating but because our child is happy the contact has stayed the same and even increased.
I feel very alone now. I feel like I have no protection now official lines have been exhausted. I don’t know what my next step will be/CAN be.
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His abuse will never stop. That’s why zero contact is so important. Use a third party for all communication. Cut him completely out your loop. It can be done. These men are never satisfied. You could have given him everything including the shirt off your back but it’s all about control. It wasn’t about giving in to his demands because he simply changes the goal posts. He still wants that contact and with it the ability to abuse. Cut that Avenue off. Third party using email so there’s a written record. Handover/Collection via third party. Or contact centre x
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I don’t have a third party for communication. He’s vile to my mum and she’s the only one who could do it and I won’t put her through that. I keep being told that our child will suffer if we don’t learn to communicate. He has a lot of contact so it’s inevitable I have to contact him but I only do it when absolutely necessary and I use talking parents so everything is logged. There’s a journal on there too where I can upload screen shots etc so it’s really useful. Thing is, he isn’t even responding. Not through the app anyway, he’s passing responses through nursery. I know it’s all control and that ideally I don’t deal with him but I’ve been criticised for that. He even sent my ex husband a long message (detail removed by moderator) saying vile things, just to cause trouble between us. We co parent my older children well so it didn’t work but it shows me that now a “final” decision has been made he’s just going to escalate things. He has nothing to hold him back now!
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