Thoughts please?

[Beautifulday]

Hi Everyone

I hope you are all doing OK its me again! I feel I either don’t come here at all because I feel immense guilt dont know why, or I’ll post quite a lot in the space of a few days i think im in that phase recently.

Anyway as you know I’m going through realisation stage, extremely trauma bonded, ive been reading educating myself gaining strength and in the past week have been in touch with mortgage advisor, solicitor (who was great) and counsellor.

I was feeling strong and the other morning buult up courage to say I had sought advice as things are clearly not working and I said I’m willing to be civil about it and he would have to seek advice on his behalf regarding if he can or not buy me out if thats what he wants to do im willing for him to do it but he will have to find out if he can. . I was just met with a vacant look, no tears, no begging or pleading (which I would do if I claimed to love someone) and all he said was thanks for letting me know. So i left the house im back in work and felt strong felt like a weight off my shoulders thought this is it, the balls rolling.
Dreaded coming home in the evening, when i did i was met with hi lovely..hows your day been? A happy like nothing was said in the morning. I was baffled.
Since then he’s been calling me sweetheart lovely being all nicey nice like its been forgotten about.
So today I came home he was doing a job in the house the same job which I asked him was he going to do a few days ago and was met with dont ask me questions dont demand jobs of me, dont tell me what to do. Anyway came home he was doing this job and finished it. Later on I said calmly why are you being all nice now? Did you not hear what I said the other morning? He instantly got moody and told me thats the last time he’s ever doing a job for me…bearing in mind he does hardly anything and only did that job after I said I want to end things.

I just dont get it, i was feeling strong on a roll. And now he’s calling me sweetheart etc etc acting like nothing happened and I feel immense guult? Like its me who’s the problem? Thinking rhings like maybe he’ll have nowhere to go if I buy him out or sell the house? He doesn’t have Nyone, where will he stay? Etc etc. My mind is driving me crazy . I just cant cope anymore

[Eggshells]

He’s being nice because he wants you to change your mind. It won’t last once he realises you really mean it. Just shows, he does know how to behave well when it suits him! If he knows how he should be behaving, then why hasn’t he behaved that way all along? He chose not to and he will choose not to again. No need to feel sorry for him or worry about him. He’s more in control of himself than you realise. He can look after himself. The only reason he hasn’t looked after himself so far is because he preferred you to look after him. He will be fine. It’s time to look after you now. xx

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