Threat of suicide

[Butterfly-A]

Every small argument escalates massively and my partner usually results in either telling me he wants to die or trying to commit suicide in front of me.

Ive never actually said to him that I want to leave, but I dont have to before it gets to this.

So how do I possibly leave someone so vulnerable that the smallest of issues will almost lead to his death, I can’t help but feel fully responsible for him

[Hereforhelp]

Hi, claiming to be suicidal is a cruel threat to keep you thinking that he is vulnerable… he is using his suicide threats to keep you where you are.. it is a common tactic…  he is an adult, he is responsible for his own Mental Health and if he needs help he can reach out to his GP..   my ex claimed to be suicidal when I made the decision (and he sensedni meant it which is why he claimed to be suicidal).. I rang his GP surgery to tell them my concerns, when he continued to claim to be suicidal.

“Ive never actually said to him that I want to leave, but I dont have to before it gets to this”

He is gagging you and controlling you by saying he is suicidal, in reality, very very few men follow this through, he knows that you are caring and an Empath and is using your kindness against you to hush you up so that you do not leave… that’s not love, if he cared he would get help for himself and not use such a cruel threat.

 

Have you reached out to Women’s Aid chat on here? Thry can help support you without pressure of leaving?

 

Hugs 🫂

[Allornothing]

Hi, it is a threat and a tactic, you will find that they often say this. Mine was the same, threatened it in the early days (although love bombing at the same time – which I now know where red flags!).  Even after suffering the loss of someone really close to him to suicide, he almost used this experience to threaten it even more.  To everyone outside it was sad, to me, I knew exactly what he was doing.  He admitted to me he did not have the balls to do it.  And I assume he is still alive and probably has found a new target.  Sadly, as awful as it is hearing it, just let it go over your head.  Your happiness is important, you deserve to live your life to the fullest and by him making these threats, he will always have a hold on you.

Please don’t feel responsible for him, he is a grown man and if he is suffering then he knows where to go for help.  It is abusive to put that on you. Sending you lots of love, sometimes it is these kinds of things that just chip away at us until we look at them completely differently and see them for what they are 🙁 xx

[Bananaboat]

Don’t stay because of these threats, sadly and sickeningly it’s just another tactic to make you stay. He’s triggering your caring side as you, naturally don’t want that on your hands. But as others have said he’s an adult and if he feels suicidal he can seek help. If you leave and he threatens it, phone the police for a welfare check (that often stops them playing this card too). All too often people genuinely considering this option don’t shout about it but plan it secretly – another red flag that he’s throwing the threat around like this.

But all that aside, what about your mental health, is he doing anything to protect yours? x

[Ginjaninja257]

My ex-husband did the same to me regularly.(detail removed by moderator) then told me he was going to kill himself on the motorway.  He got out of the car and walked towards the slip road.  I was beside myself with fear.  I was torn between W*F he had just done to me and terrified that he was going to kill himself.  He didn’t…. it was a threat designed to have an effect.  The one thing I’ve realised about these types of people is that they are too selfish to do it.

 

Stay strong, put yourself first. You are not responsible for his actions, even though I know it feels like you are. xx

[UndertheStarz]

I am going through these threats too, I am always beside myself when he does it and always think it could be this time he actually does it, he has never done it and in hind site my abuser has done this to me for many years ! I’m still going through this today and have no real advice other than to say your not alone and maybe use the online chat service on here I am going to do this myself to see about more advice.

[Yesican]

My ex has always threatened suicide if I tried to leave him. (detail removed by Moderator), I cut off all contact for months. He eventually reached out by using a different email address to tell me that he had been sent to a psychiatric clinic by his GP who feared that he would kill himself. Of course I responded and he immediately discharged himself and stopped taking his medication. So we went back around all the vicious circles for another (detail removed by Moderator), with things getting ever worse.

I have again left him and cut off all contact. I do worry that he will kill himself. I don’t know if I would even find out.  He might be too selfish to do it or if he does, it is to hurt me. I am trying to focus on me and my journey and get him out of my head.

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