Threats of suicide.

[Mummyboo]

Hi everyone- first time poster here!

I left my husband a (detail removed by Moderator) ago and it has been such a struggle. (detail removed by Moderator) he called my sister who is acting as a mediator for dealing with him as I can deal with him at the moment as he just goes round in circles about promising to change and saying how would I know if he has changed if I don’t come home to see it.
My sister came in (detail removed by Moderator) and said I needed to talk to him to arrange about him seeing our kids. I went on the phone to hear him crying so hard saying he is broken and a mess and is feeling like he is going to kill himself. I felt like it was a manipulation and told him so which made him worse and he said how I was being so cold towards him. Now I feel awful, I hate being horrible to people as it’s just not in my nature. I just feel so sorry for him,
I have my family, my social worker, my psychologist (bc I have a brain injury)and women’s aid people to talk to but he has no one. I think he was trying to push my buttons to get a reaction but I can’t help but worry that he is telling the truth. I just don’t know what to do and it feels like this is ever going to end and I’m just going to end up going back just for an easy life.

[Confused123]

hey hun

dont feel bad thats what they want, he has to get help himself , you cant be responsible for him , they always cry, should of thought about that when he was hurting u

[KIP.]

One hundred percent manipulation and going back would be an easy life for him, not you. Next time he threatens suicide ring 999 and send an ambulance round. My ex played all these games, meanwhile seeing another woman behind my back. They are pathological liars and he is not your responsibility. He obviously hasn’t changed or he would be respecting your wishes and boundaries. No contact is the only way to break this cycle of abuse. Explain to your sister that contact with him makes you vulnerable to him. You can arrange contact with a contact book that the kids take with them or use email via your sister. I saw my ex behave like this and switch back to a smirk when he got his own way. Shocking dysfunctional behaviour. I’d also be keeping contact with the kids to a bare minimum with someone who threatens suicide. Look after yourself because he won’t. No contact…… hang in there. The longer you break contact the more chance you have to see this bigger abusive picture. Using kids to manipulate is what kept me with my ex for years and the kids saw this awful abusive controlling behaviour. You sound like you have your own problems to deal with too without added stresses x

[itmustbemesurely]

I’ve recently had the same I asked him to leave he eventually went back after he did he threaten suicide several times. Was a broken man, couldn’t live without me, his life wasn’t worth living without me, I was a cold hearted b***h, I had no empathy, he wanted to end his life, was very reckless and manipupulative it was horrid. It’s got better but he still texts constantly, asks if I love him, sends flowers, cries in front of me. I’m no way a hard person he abused me for years, he lied to me, deceived me, when he behaves like he has since we spilt it makes me hate him all the more, it’s made me strong at last – it’s taken a while but I did almost go back but I recorded him talking to me a year ago and after remembering what life was like I gained strength x*x sending lots of love – I know it’s so so hard but please remember what life was like before xx

[Emmlogan]

It’s so weird how they all pull the same bullsh** isn’t it? I love how we are all here sharing it, helping each other see through their games.

Everybody, hands up if your ex is on step three of the ‘Get Back Your Victim in Ten Easy Steps’ book: Threatening to Kill Yourself. Mine must have skipped a few pages because I got this one right at the start. Guess what, he didn’t.

Stay strong ladies and let’s keep looking after us 💟

[Author]

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