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Not quite sure how to explain recent events. They have involved pure rage from him screaming at the top of his voice how he is going to kill me because he was jealous again. Then we had the cool calm collected person who spent the night playing mind games and declared that he was planning the perfect murder, mine! I tried to tell someone quite unsuccessfully and gave up I have now come to the conclusion he is getting a kick out of mind games. It worked, i certainly have not slept. His delivery was sinister and I would rather anger over that any day.
Not having much luck moving forward and not sure how to? I know I will be criticised for this but I don’t want to get him into trouble last time it backfired on me and it will always be my word against his. You ladies who have done this I feel like i am pulling octopus tentacles from myself and as soon as I loosen one another tightens.
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The statistics of research in the murders of women by partners say that 50% of announced murders are carried out.
Your risk of being killed is therefore 50%.
Why do I say it that way?
I want to save you.
I want you to get out as soon as you can.
You are too precious for any harm!Leave while you can!!!
Keep posting here!
We listen and we take you seriously! -
Have you phoned help line to talk through your options? They may put you in touch with your local team.
He’s really messing with your mind and I suspect, as you say, is getting a kick out of
it.
His threats may be threats to see you squirm but you definitely need to make sure you are safe.
Extracting yourself from the tentacles is tough but it can be done you just need to believe it’s what you want and get help to do it. If you are planning keaving remember that’s the time the abuse can escalate as despite our attempts to hide things they do have an uncanny ability to sense something is happening
Please take care of yourself x -
Thank you Ayanna,
I hear you. If he could control his jealousy I know we wouldnt have too much to worry about because I am sure he enjoys creating drama and that I can deal with. This jealousy is something else though and it makes me nervous, it is like you can almost see the hate and everything burning up inside. I am pro-actively trying to find a way forward without tipping him the wrong way.
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Thank you White Rose,
It is exactly like you say and you feel daft saying to someone he said this when it is just words. Although I have to confess it shook me. I havent rung the helpline he is always around or someone else is. x
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I agree, he is doing it because he can. Plus he knows I am not in a position to do anything about it which is why we have had so many incidents in ashort space of time. Jealousy does make it worse though.
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Hi Imagine,
I just wanted to show you some support. I don’t want to frighten you but you sound very high risk at the moment. The fact that the abuse has escalated in a short space of time and that he has made direct threats to kill you are all very worrying. I very much understand that at the moment your safety plan may be to stay and monitor the situation but if you can please try and find a way to phone the helpline or the police to talk about your situation. The helpline can help to put you in a refuge where you can be safe and where he will not know where you are. You could seize an opportunity to leave, even if you can’t take anything with you and the helpline can find you a refuge with very little notice, the council and the police can arrange emergency accommodation too.
We are all here for you. Please do not let him know that you are planning to go or that you are seeking support and advice.
Best wishes,
Lisa
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Thank you, I tried the helpline but no one was available to answer. I will try again when I get the opportunity. I am trying to do things differently this time which is why I have not told the police,last contact I had with them I said everything was fine. He has issues and those issues make him more unpredictable than most people. Which is why I am trying to do things gently because there is not just me to consider. I thought if I can access help for him then it would help us in the long run. He is not making it easy though because nothing is quite good enough.
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