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    • #15038
      Whathaveidone
      Participant

      I’ve been thinking alot lately. It only just popped into my mind that I remeber him throwing a cup of water at my mum and my brother (on separate occassions) because they wouldn’t do what he had asked.

      He’s also bragged and laughed to me about how he poured a bowl of water over his ex one morning because according to him, she was sleeping too much and wouldn’t wake up ‘earlier’ (a time he deemed most appropriate) for her work.

      Is this abuse?

    • #15061
      Ayanna
      Participant

      He is such an a…h…!
      Please make plans to get away!

      • #15065
        Whathaveidone
        Participant

        tell me about it! I’m going to call the helpline next week as I now he’ll be away fom me. Just knowing he is an abuser is making me distance myself from him more and more in my mind. I’m also thinking back and remebering things that he’s said and done which I ignored but now i’m thinking he’s just done all of this to control me?

    • #15087

      My answer would be, how can anyone think it is ok to throw water at someone, might it be a relative or someone else? Next, what else will he throw? Knives like my husband? What is the limit?

      I think you are going through the same process as me remembering lots of things that all add up to the definition of abuse. The question is do you want to leave the relationship and are you able to do so safely? I think you need to make a safety plan and definitely need to speak to someone who can help you in a proper manner.

      Hugs from me.

      • #15219
        Whathaveidone
        Participant

        Hi Bridget Jones is free, He also sometimes throws pillows as a ‘joke’ or when he is ‘teasing’. He said he would never be physically violent to me. But he realise the emotional damage he’s doing?

        I think with everyday that goes by, I want to get out more and more but sometimes I have a relapse because he’s nice or takes me out etc. However, I don’t think I can live my life like this anymore. I want to go back to education (which he won’t let me) and do things I want to do and things normal people do. I was on that path before he came along. I’m looking back over all the years and I do think it’s been wasted with him.

        At the moment, I can’t just leave otherwise I think it will get worse – for me, my mum and brothers but I’m not scared of the idea of calling the helpline anymore, which I was a few days / weeks ago. This is a huge step for me. I will call when it’s safe and I will make a safety plan. I NEED to speak to someone – I feel like I’m going crazy inside.

        Hugs back 🙂

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