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    • #121850
      raindew
      Participant

      So I’m having to see him (detail removed by moderator), and I’m so scared about him begging and pleading with me to give him another chance. I’m afraid I won’t be strong enough to stick to my gut and end up giving him another chance. Does anyone have any advice/tips on how to stay strong and not give in to him?
      Thank you!

    • #121853
      [email protected]
      Participant

      So firstly do you have to see him ? Because there’s a really good chance he’d will try to ‘hoover’ you xx

    • #121855
      Darcy
      Participant

      Hi My beautiful angel…Raindew
      This is a really tough one especially when emotions are involved
      Firstly make sure running up to seeing him you are giving yourself lots of selfcare and self love, this will build your inner strength
      Also you need to make sure you are grounded, imagine yourself as tree with deep strong roots… when the wind blows (which is him) you still stay rooted. If you don’t have deep set roots, when the wind blows you will get up rooted or b**w over (go back to him or fall for his lines)
      And lastly I would say again running up to seeing him set your boundaries, write them out and say them out loud so they are re-enforced … they could be that you are going to leave by a certain time or where you meet him is non-negotiable, but also things like if he speaks a certain way to you, try’s to touch you or is not acting appropriately this is your que to leave.
      At anytime if you feel uncomfortable … leave. And if you really don’t have to meet him, I would advise you don’t, is there another way, phone, zoom etc ??
      Be your own best friend … what would you tell her?
      Safety first aswell, tell someone where you are going etc , and meet in a safe place
      Stay in touch my darling
      Sending you love & support
      D xx

    • #121866
      KIP.
      Participant

      Do not see him. Get a third party for all contact. Direct contact is toxic for you and empowers him. You know the power he holds over you so do not give him the chance to use it. Even if he doesn’t try to use those tactics your mind will be racing as to why. You cannot win where there is contact full stop x

    • #121874
      Hawthorn
      Participant

      I agree with KIP. Please dont see him. Abuse is so traumatic and one of the most important lessons to learn after leaving is how to be kind to YOURSELF. Not to him. You owe him nothing. Not your words. Not your time and certainly not the opportunity to be in your presence. Be kind to yourself and dont put yourself through the upset of seeing him. If it’s about your belongings they are only things, someone else can collect them for you(sorry the detail has been removed from your post). Any paperwork or bills can be sorted electronically. Every contact with him gives him the opportunity to abuse you.
      Your silence towards him is your power. Take it back x*x

    • #121886
      KIP.
      Participant

      Your silence towards him is your power. I love that. It’s our superpower. Their Cryptonite. 💪

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