5th February 2016 at 8:58 pm #9124I want to break freeParticipant
I have been out for a while now. I feel good most of the time but recently I lost another friend because of the lies he telling. I lost so many friends as I cut myself off from all mutual friends who are still in touch with him. His abuse is very psychological and I can hear his words coming out of mutual friends mouths and I am worried they will tell him stuff.
I feel tired and warn down by it all. I have court coming up re contact, I think he broke into my house (but I can’t prove it). I just feel exhausted and fed up. I think i am back in trauma again.
I had come to terms with my life and my friendship circle being quite small but to loose another friend. I am feeling quite lonely and isolated.
I love being a single mum, life is so much better without living in fear but I do miss adult company. It just seems to be all work and no play now days (to be honest it was that when he was at home too) I hardly ever do anything for myself. I think because court is coming too and I work I am just so busy.
when I get home at night I find it hard to do anything. All I want to do is sleep. The house is a mess and I am struggling to get things done.
Any tips for increasing my friendship circle? reducing isolation? Or just coping with life better?
6th February 2016 at 7:55 pm #9191LisaMain Moderator
Hi I want to break free,
Sorry to hear how you are feeling. It can be very disappointing when you lose friends because of an abusive ex-partner. I can understand how you are feeling exhausted, the aftermath of an abusive relationship can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. I hope it has helped to offload on here, and I am sure many have experienced what you are going through.
Being a single mum is tough but believe you are doing your best and putting your family first. It sounds like you are a brilliant mum and so strong to make the decision to reduce your friendship circle to protect your family.
If you would like to talk at any time, then remember the 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline is available on 0808 2000 247. The Helpline Workers can just listen or discuss your circumstances.
Keep posting when you can, you don’t have to go through this alone.
6th February 2016 at 8:35 pm #9195HopespringsParticipant
I had been feeling quite isolated and I joined a walking group and the gym. The group has been great as they have many events on and I’ve made a new friend nearby 🙂 is there an interest you’d like to pursue?
The gym is great as I go to the fitness classes and the group setting keeps me motivated.
Sending a big hug xx
7th February 2016 at 8:20 am #9230SilkyHalideParticipant
I’m same as Hopesprings
Joined similar walking and social group
Also joined a spiritual healing group. I am a sceptic but this has been my sanity saver. Highly recommended.
7th February 2016 at 9:29 am #9232Falling SkysParticipant
I must admit I have distanced myself from joint friends, one because I don’t want them to choose and two he’s been working on them for years looking the victim. And he didn’t like me having my own friends they were his.
I look at this as finding me time, I walk, go to the gym, take photographs sometimes I’m on my own others I’m with other people,and I have made new friends so know my past others don’t.
This group have been more support than anything to me as there is no shock when you say what you have been though or going through. Also that look of pity when you let slip of what was going on.
Go luck with going to court and keep posting we care.
9th February 2016 at 6:03 pm #9391I want to break freeParticipant
thanks for the support and encouragement – I guess I dont get that much “me” time with my daughter so what ever i do to widen my circle needs to include her!! But I am inspired by your creative ideas- I think i do need to make more of an effort. I was a popular person and had lots of friends before this happened, I did not realise but although he isolated me I was still able to see people when he was not around – now I have to work longer hours and juggle with taking my daughter to contact etc it seems harder.
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