This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  KIP. 2 weeks, 6 days ago.

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  • #114756
     Optimystic 
    Participant

    Does anyone have any experience or feel like their partner is tormenting them and toying with them on purpose? It doesn’t feel like banter. I woke up feeling happy and positive. By this afternoon I was a stressed wreck feeling sick and anxious. I was shouted at too, which didn’t help but that came after feeling tormented all day. I don’t want to go into details because the moderator has her work cut out for me already 🙈. But, I can’t explain it other than I feel he’s going out of his way to be awkward, scupper plans and yeah, feeling tormented is the only way I can describe it. I can see enjoyment instead of anger. He never used to be like this? Confused. Thanks x

  • #114760
     gettingtired 
    Participant

    Sorry to hear you’ve had such a bad day Optimystic, I have too 😔
    I’ve only really experienced this tormenting type of behaviour when he’s been drunk or on drugs. I’m sure it’s bound to be another tactic used to wear you down though. I can’t remember if you said you’ve read Why does he do that? but I’m reading it right now and finding it really helpful to learn about their behaviours x

    • #114803
       Optimystic 
      Participant

      Hi gettingtired, I’m sorry you had a bad day 😞. Hopefully, today is better. And thank you for the recommendation. There’s a few books I need to get my hands on I think! I’m feeling grumpy today and he’s not been annoying me. Must be happy I’ve got nothing planned and I’m not smiling! Take care x

  • #114774
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Yes, it’s how they get their feeling of power. Just another abuser tactic. My ex couldn’t stand me being happy. Always waiting to pull the rug. Think back to times when you’ve shown happiness and think back to what he did to scupper that. Times of success, joy, happiness, holidays, birthdays. I got a job and my ex went nuts. It escalated to him killing an animal because it gave me joy. They really are despicable people and abuse always gets worse x

    • #114804
       Optimystic 
      Participant

      That’s just the worst KIP! 😰. Just awful. Have no words. Except, I have seen patterns of drama before every family gathering, birthdays etc. Just spoils things for me. He did actually ask what I was smiling at (detail removed by moderator) before the tormenting started. He’d never admit it though. Just says I’m an unreasonable person and a victim.

  • #114805
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Yes I began cancelling holidays and fearing being away with him alone. I still couldn’t put my finger on why my anxiety was so high. Nobody mention domestic abuse in all the years I had mental health problems and was medicated. Not one doctor. It was all down to him and his abuse.

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