15th November 2023 at 5:21 pm #163198Prosecco99Participant
Hi all. I need some help I don’t know where to start or how to word it plus I’m feeling anxious and scared. I have a baby and I am worried to reach out for any help as I really don’t want social services involved 🙁 has anyone else left with a young baby and how did it all work out please? Thank you for reading x
16th November 2023 at 8:25 pm #163242LisaMain Moderator
It’s understandable that you would be feeling anxious, reaching out for support can be really difficult and seem like a big unknown. You’re not alone in being scared about what might happen.
Social services exist to make sure that your child is safe and in an environment where it can thrive. Whether services would need to raise a concern with social services about your baby would depend on what’s happening with the abuse and if there is a risk of harm to your child because of it.
The local domestic abuse service is there to support you to take steps to safeguard you and your child, they should not disclose any confidential information without discussing this with you first, but it may be that professional involvement would be helpful for you – social services are extremely unlikely to remove your child from your care. This is something lots of women in abusive relationships are worried about or threatened with, but social services should support women in removing the danger to the child, which in this case is the perpetrator of abuse, not you.
It sounds like you want to take steps to leave, which means you will be doing what you can to protect your baby. Local domestic abuse services usually have advocates who can support you in communicating with social services if they do need to be involved.
If you want to talk in more detail about your situation, you could use our Live Chat service to speak with a Women’s Aid worker in confidence. They won’t tell you what to do but can help you to understand your options so you can think about what you want to happen and what next steps would be best for you. You could also reach out to your local domestic abuse service and speak to them about their confidentiality policy so you can understand more about if and when they would need to share information with other services (like social services) and that might help reassure you.
Lots of women do leave with young children, including women who use this forum. Hopefully some will be able to share their experiences of this with you soon.
Take care and keep posting,
18th November 2023 at 8:16 pm #163320swanlakeParticipant
My abuser and I never had children for sad reasons but apparently it’s quite common for pregnancy and the arrival of a child to cause an uptick in abusive behaviour.
So services are absolutely used to helping people with children and want to help you and your baby.
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