Trauma bond

[Stuckinturmoil]

I have made some big steps to ending the marriage. Filing for divorce and getting the house valued. I filed for divorce ages ago but am now stuck. We sleep in separate rooms and we just do not get on.
We went on holiday together but mainly for convenience as I could kind the dog whilst he took then kids on days out.
Again he spent most of the time ranting and raving at me. The children have started speaking to me terribly too. Why am I finding it so hard to bring this to a final end?

[Bananaboat]

Because you wanted a different outcome like we all did – that happy ever after, you’re maybe hoping for that epiphany moment where he’ll see sense and realise what he’s got and be the nice guy we fell for; or at the very least become civil about splitting up! And because you’ve been conditioned by him. Downtrodden to believe his negativity or made to feel guilt ‘for splitting the family up’. Urgh, they all say it.

Throw in the fact they elongate the ending to meet their needs, rather than accepting it’s over and discussing next steps & who is moving/when they keep us as roommates living in limbo. It’s tough but focus on what you need to do next for you & the kids, he’ll be grumpy whether you stay or go , so work towards the new beginning for you xx

[Author]

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