*Trigger Warning* Sexual Assault

[leopard]

Hi

I ended my relationship (detail removed by Moderator) ago but we still live together at present whilst sorting out living arrangements. (detail removed by Moderator) I was sexually assaulted twice by him. The second time in my sleep. I woke up during in a panic. He made out he didn’t know what was going on. We now sleep separately.
This man has emotionally abused me for the (detail removed by Moderator) years of our relationship and coercively controlled me, including sexually.
He is claiming that he doesn’t recall the second incident and felt he was half asleep during the first incident and keeps saying “I don’t know what happened”. He thinks there is some kind of sleep disorder. He has a GP appointment booked (detail removed by Moderator). I don’t believe him. I wondered if other women have had experience of this? Is this a common excuse used?

[Lisa]

Hi Leopard,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. That must have been really frightening. Domestic abuse is about power and control. Abusive men never take responsbility for their behaviour and part of the abuse is making you question yourself, they will often deny the abuse or that it even happened. Abusive men have no respect for women and often feel entitled to sex and women’s bodies.

There is no justification for abuse and this isn’t a sleep disorder- he knows exactly what he is doing. You may want to contact Rape Crisis. They are a national organisation that operate local centres for women who have experienced rape or sexual abuse. They are now contactable via their 24 hr helpline on 0808 500 2222; they also have a live chat service (available Mon-Fri) through their website.

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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