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Last few months I’ve been working with someone who has actively stopped me from doing my role, excluded me from meetings, made derogatory comments about why my role exists, criticised everything I’ve produced, been negative about any changes etc. I’ve spoken to my manager about it several times in 121’s trying to not come across as negative/trouble and followed every request made to me to try to improve relations but still this colleague disrespects my work. My mgr is very happy with my work. This colleague is sneaky and sets people up as trouble makers or says people are ganging up on her – which reminds me of my ex too and undermines my ability to raise any issues. She’s the kind to palm your work off as her their own, has a blame culture in their team and approaches every change with the mindset of this won’t work.
A month ago I reached a real low point and started to write a grievance. After a few days preplanned leave I decided not to raise it as I started working with a couple of different people things were a bit better. I’ve now learnt this person is to become my boss for a short period.
This has triggered me greatly as it’s like dealing with my ex all over again and I’m still on that journey. There’s no way this person would be supportive with work or outside work. I don’t want to come across as difficult but I’m not sure which way to turn – (I should add speaking with HR isn’t an option) any tips or advice as I’m not sure if I’m more sensitive post abuse, or that I’m strong enough to cope with all this right now.
Hopefully it’s just the shock today and I’ll be fine next week but I just needed to offload and seek any words of wisdom you lovely people might have xx
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Dont leave it. Things fester and if we leave them inside they grow and grow until we cant cope any longer. Write that grievance again. You cant let this person bully you at work it isnt fair and unless someone steps up and says something he will keep doing it right?
I know i really am nobody to tell you to speak up what a hypocrite I am but I just feel that you have come so far been so brave so amazing this could possibly undo all that work. Maybe find someone at work you trust and have a chat to them about this person you may find others feel the same way.
Lots hugs sweetie xxxx -
Hi love!y! I’ve been wanting to reply all day, but have been at work myself!
I really feel for you!
Approach your manager again, and tell them that this is seriously affecting your mental health. They have a duty of care towards you, and by law, (equality at work act 2001), they have to ‘invetigate’.
Keep a log of all the times and dates things happen. I told my manager that I was recording the person on my phone. HR need to be told, too – unless she’s in that role, then it needs to be brought up with her manager.
I think as being survivors, we are more, I’ll say ‘attuned’. But this doesn’t mean to say it’s not happening. If you feel it – you feel it and you should not be made to carry it.
At the moment, I’m having great difficulty with convincing management that the bully is using intimidation tactics and does not need to walk past our room while making themselves known. They never walked past before a complaint was made. They’re escalating insidiuosly.
Your manager is happy with your work, and if you enjoy your job, don’t let an a*$£π0!£ ruin it. I left my home and marriage because of one, and I’ve vowed to myself, that I won’t let another ruin a job I really like.
If you want to message me, please do…. Maybe I can help, even if it’s just to back you up.
As we like to say in our work room….. Teeth and t!ts!!!
((((big hugs)))) xx -
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