26th February 2016 at 1:39 pm #10489AloneParticipant
Woke up this morning to texts sent at an unsociable hour. In the past, when I had friends, early morning texts were a regular occurrence, and always made me smile. Nowadays, they are always network messages, so get my hopes up then let me down.
Today was an exception.
I had early morning messages from someone who decided to send their thoughts on me having lost my best friends, when tackling my domestic abuse and bullying at work issues. The messages weren’t attacking, or accusing, but have really upset me anyway. Reading such things upon waking catches someone at their most vulnerable, I believe.
It’s full of things such as others who never met me having pushed opinions on people who cut me off, and the fact that I was struggling to cope when I had a two figure a week income (barely three figures a month, it was that low!) was being bullied at work, threatened and abused at home because I couldn’t give the money they wanted, wasn’t eating and started to suffer with kidney problems as a result… apparently that I wasn’t coping was a factor for being discarded.
This all really upsets me. Yes it took a while to find the correct way to get back on my feet – I was thrown out of the CAB, and my GP didn’t believe the abuse at home at all. Doors slammed in my face at every turn for months. Surely as human beings we would either help or step back from people, and when we see they are doing better, get back in touch? Everything said in these texts is things that were not my fault and are all now resolved! It upsets me even more because if these things are true, I think they are silly, and all fixable. But not for me, because I’m someone everyone must stay far away from, clearly.
I know I will never fully get over this, my heart has been hardened forever. I am so lonely, but I can’t let anyone new in my life. The only person I talk to is someone I knew before all of this, and recently got back in touch with, but I’m worried my struggles and fears of letting people close will soon ruin that too.
These texts really got to me when my defences were down!
26th February 2016 at 6:09 pm #10496SerenityParticipant
Bless you, Alone.
There are bullies to be found everywhere in life- people who feel their life spiralling out of control who, rather than do the hard work on themselves, prefer to think of themselves as superior and pontificate to others or, worse, attack those who they know are vulnerable.
A certain person in my family sent a very unkind text in the early hours of the morning when I was only very recently separated from my abuser and in the throes of PTSD.
I find it so hard to comprehend why this person did this: firstly, I don’t believe I have ever been anything but kind to them, and secondly, they accused me of something which was way off the Mark and in their own head, rather than a reality.
This person is very dominant and opinionated in general in their life. They are also going through a tough time in their personal life. I can only think that they are losing control, so think they can feel powerful by controlling me.
I have experienced a lot of pain over this. But it is clear as day to me that by texting such cruelty at 2am in the morning, when- as you say- one is at one’s most vulnerable- is a show of power and a transgression of normal, thoughtful and respectful boundaries. It is nothing but bullying, pure and simple.
I have had to tell this person to back off – and earlier in my crisis, I literally had to block them for a bit. Unfortunately, I let them close and they ‘slapped’ me again- so now I have to build up my fortress again and strong barriers!
I will reveal nothing to this person about my personal life, as I can’t trust them with the information.
I think you need to seriously consider blocking this person, as they are a bully. It is within your power to build your own fortress around you and to only let those in who are allies- not foes x*x
26th February 2016 at 7:33 pm #10502DaisyParticipant
When I was struggling with abuse at home, work was my sanctuary, a bit of normality when I could be treated decently, I can’t imagine how horrendous that time was for you, especially as your finances were cut off as they were. you should not have to be the scapegoat for others issues constantly you sound a lovely person and deserve so much better,
When it comes your way, although rightfully wary, you will appreciate it so much too after what you have been through.
Are you still with your abuser?
X x x
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