Triggered: domestic abuse next door

[Feelinglikeafool]

Had to call the police because the man next door was shouting, swearing and thumping the walls (at least) earlier. The screams of the woman and kids were awful and there are animals in there. I can’t keep quiet so called the police. It all sounds calm again there now but I’m still shaking and feel sick. So sick of constantly hearing about these men, they seem to be everywhere.

[maddog]

Well done for calling the police. You did the right thing. I would have loved if someone had done the same for me.

Please make sure that you have the real life support that you need. You’ve identified a dangerous person.

Like so many people in abusive relationships, the woman has probably normalised everything, is trying to stand her ground and believes she has some control. It may also feel safer for her to stay.

There are lots of wonderful people out there. We can’t know what we don’t know and can’t unsee what we’ve seen.

Your neighbour doesn’t know and you can’t unsee.

As we report, bit by bit, we’re closing the gap. From my point of view, I’d love you to hold your head high.

[Feelinglikeafool]

I feel sick this morning, a real sense of dread. Don’t know if it was the right thing to do, I know a lot of people would say not to call the police. But when it was happening I froze, my daughter kept begging (detail removed by moderator). Guttural screams from the woman and the kids as he kept shouting f’s and c’s and banging so much our house shook too. (Detail removed by moderator). I’ve tried to make friends with the woman to see if I can help.

There’s animals in there too and I know they’re not being properly looked after. I feel like I want to get away as quickly as possible now because I don’t know if he’ll come for me, and now I have nobody to call (my ex, ironically, would have been here in the blink of an eye!)

[Eyesopening]

Hi Feelinglikeafool,
I am not sure what kind of people would say not to call the police?
To me only people who support this kind of behavior. We must fight against this old fashioned idea that a man has the right to do what he wants in his home and to his wife. We can help fight it by calling the police.

It’s a normal reaction after being in an abusive relationship to be triggered by such events. But why would he come after you? You have the police to call if you ever need to call anyone.
You have done the right thing and the only thing you can do, now I would distance yourself from this couple. It’s not your responsibility to help them. Ofcourse if it so happens you are speaking to her you can point her to WA and relevent places she can get support. But I would be weary of getting in too deep as you need to heal yourself.
xx

[Feelinglikeafool]

Thanks. Yeah I know it was the right thing to do really, but I couldn’t sleep last night and ended up reading loads of stuff on Quora where people were saying that reporting it could make it worse for the woman. All I know is my neighbours suddenly went deaf when I was in the same position and I’d have loved for someone to have called the police. I also know that I couldn’t live with myself if something happened.

Yes I’m distancing myself now, definitely. Going to keep my head down and think about moving. And if it happens again and the kids sound as terrified as they did, I’ll have to call again :/

Thanks xx

[Weemebreeze]

Same as you – I used to pray one of my neighbours would step in and rescue me. Alas, that day never came and they claim they never heard a thing. Nonsense. You absolutely did the right thing and if you were my neighbour, I would be forever grateful. X

[Feelinglikeafool]

❤️

[N-Survivor]

You did the right thing even if it’s just from protecting the children perspective. My heart breaks for the children.

[Author]

Posts