This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Soulsearcher18 4 days, 15 hours ago.

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  • #107993
     Starmoon 
    Participant

    Me again, I’m sorry to keep posting but I need to get it out of my head.. these weeks are the anniversary of a traumatic miscarriage where I almost died with complications. Up until then my now ex had been the perfect man, I’d thought myself lucky every day to have found someone so amazing.. then whilst I was going through hell, hell in hospital he dumped me… because he was sick of my negativity. I was in and out of hospital for a long period of time. We weren’t living together at the time as the relationship was relatively early.. we’d planned to live together one the baby’s were born, but as the miscarriage was confirmed, he was sat in my house.. so cold! Looking at furniture for his flat, I got upset and he just said ‘well we won’t need to live together now’… the following day he got the bags of baby things out and said he would return them as we wouldn’t be needing them… again I was upset. At one stage on another day I stormed off and slammed the door because I wanted to see some affection from him but was getting non.. he left calling me selfish and ignored me for two days. On one of the occasions i was in hospital… being blue lighted there because I was so ill, he started talking about how he didn’t like women with body art… of course I have it so I felt upset again… he said he was sick of me causing issues over nothing. Then eventually he dumped me and I lost my babies alone. I felt that he’d been so perfect before this, I must really be an awful person to push him to leave me during such a horrific time.

  • #107997
     Wants To Help 
    Participant

    Oh my goodness Starmoon, no, no, no, no! The really awful person here is HIM, not you, definitely not you.

    What an awful trauma that you have gone through. You say babies, so you have lost twins, maybe triplets?
    Have you had any counselling at all for this? You have also had a near death experience, which must also have been very frightening for you.

    Never apologise for posting on here. If this is your source of support then you post as often as you want to.

    Please tell me this far from ‘perfect’ man no longer features in your life. Who else have you spoken to or had support from for this trauma? Have you got family around you for support?

    • #108014
       Starmoon 
      Participant

      Yes it was twins. It was some years ago now. I was then with him for year and we had another baby and subsequent miscarriages. He left me many many time and always came back… sometimes he would come back saying sorry and sometimes I’d beg him to come home and promise I’d change. It’s just the anniversary of the loss and the fact that we’d recently got back together but he left again and Is with someone els.. I never had any counselling for losing my babies… Bob was ever offered. I know I’m still traumatised by it all as the hospital at the time was very negligent, hence almost losing my life. I should’ve complained at the time but everything was so difficult. My ex assaulted me and did many things since this.. I just wish I could forget it all.

  • #108016
     Starmoon 
    Participant

    I meant to say years… we were together for many

  • #108041
     Soulsearcher18 
    Participant

    Starmoon
    I am so sorry to hear this…
    What you describe, the trauma and loss you have experienced…so, so sad…

    His treatment of you, HE is disgusting, absolutely disgusting.

    You have every right to talk through these experiences and get support. Over the years it sounds like he has diminished the effects that such traumatic experiences would have had on you.

    Honestly…How dare he do that to you?

    I hope you don’t mind but I had a look on-line at what is out there in terms of support. I don’t want to copy and paste the links because they pop up really large on here but Tommy’s website have information for bereaved parents on miscarriage and they have a baby loss community. There is also the miscarriage association.

    Keep posting, we want to help and support you and we are here listening.

    Take care

    Soulsearcher

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