Triggered

[godschild]

This morning whilst on my computer upstairs, the was a couplel in my road having a very heated “row ” ,he was swearing at her non stop they had a child in the back of the car,he lives here she was in her car , he was being very very aggresive to her and intimidating, I hesitated to call the police as they are not nice in my area , ive had very bad experiences ,but she drove off and came back things were thrown in the road and he was very very verbal to her, she came back again and he took the child in his house then she went off again andcame back,she mentioned getting an injuntion against him.
He was getting more and more indtimdating to her,so I took the courage to call the police, he sounded just like my husband can be,it was awful seeing it from the outside

Its left mes shaking unable to concentrate and in a panic, then my husband said he is going to go over and tell them who called the police, he has betrayed me so so many times, i feel angry but also defeated and almost in tears. How dare he try to intimidate meliek this, I asked the police to keeop me annonymous they were fine about that

He has not done it but just his threat has made me so mad,dont knowhowto cope with the intense overwhelming feelings Support needed please, I feel I will not stop shaking at all of this xx

[lover of no contact]

godschild. You did so well. Well done for calling the Police. It was definitely the right thing to do. Its good you have asked the Police to keep you anonymous from your neighbour abuser, that is a safe thing for you to do. Its a pity it was impossible to keep your action of calling the Police anonymous from the abuser in your house. Of course he will use this to gain ‘fuel’ for himself at your expense. He has got up this morning with his ‘fuel’ supplies low, he’s lurking and looking for a way for you to feel upset and worried. He gets an adrenaline kick out of your distress. He has now replenished his supplies (of power) at your expense (from your emotions).

It might be a good thing for him to know you can call the Police. It might keep him in check. I had to get a Protection Order against my abuser when I was living with him. I was terrified he would kill me when I got it. I was shaking with the fear of his reaction when it was served on him. But the Police man serving him at the door with the order had the effect of keeping my abuser in check. My abuser/husband tried via his solicitors (a lot of pressure on me) to get me to drop the Protection Order and not get it renewed at the court. But by not giving in to them (I was a wreck as you describe it took every ounce of courage not to concede to their demands) it tempered his aggressive and harassing behaviour until our separation was formalized. He knew I was capable of calling the Police which was a good thing.

Also I wish one of my neighbours had called the Police for me when my abuser husband had been shouting and threatening me over a lot of months. I was too afraid to do it at that time, of his reactions and the reactions of my children. What tipped me in the end to get the Protection Order was when my ex crossed the line and pushed my teenage daughter to the ground, screaming in her face. I allowed him to do it to me with no consequence but the protective mother in me was stronger than my fear of him in that instance (only just) and I was able to carry out the action of going to a judge to get a Protection Order.

Hope my experience helps. Ignore him and his threatening mouth. You have done a very brave thing today. Be proud of yourself. The way for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing. (Saying that I have done nothing lots of times due to fear).

[godschild]

Thankyou do so much LONC, my neighbours have ignored what has happened to me for years and its a horrible feeling that people turn a blind eye when Women are big abused and I could not sit and let this happen to this Girl.

My Husband was just trying to intimidate me saying he would tell them who called the police, all control tactics, im left with a very sore head now after it all but at least know that I did my best for this Girl and the child and have the confidence to pick up the phone to the police,they were not there long no doubt this man lied to them, the girl had left in her car, they asked me if I new the registration on her car, could have kicked myself as they would most likely got her side of events if I had known it.

At least he has met his match with the police calling round,he has not got away with this episode of abuse to her today.

A delivery man came up and he just ignored it all going on in front of him, ive had so so many people do that to me , I had to take action to suport this Girl.

The police asked if he had assaulted her, it seems they only home in on the physical , he certianly was assaulting her with his mouth over and over thanks again x*x

[Ayanna]

Godschild, you are such a wonderful person!
Anyone else looks away. This is how it is.
Now to what your husband threatened to do: what would happen if he did go over and tell that man that you called the police? What would happen?

Let him do it. If the man then says anything to you, say to him that your husband is lying and that it was actually him who called the police.
And also, you can say in a low tone that your husband has mental health problems.

Just use the same tactics. He will shrink to nothing. Turn it around.

Do not get scared by that.

Big hugs!

[Serenity]

Hi Godschild,

A young mum in my town was recently murdered by her ex-partner.

Apparently, at her previous address, the neighbours used to call the police to intervene. That’s what kept the lady alive. Unfortunately, she moved, and her new neighbour’s didn’t call the police. She died leaving two small children.

You were very brave to call the police. As LONC says, your husband is taking advantage of the situation. Any opportunity for power and being the top dog, he pounces right in.

I also think it’s good that he knows you’re capable of doing that. I agree with Ayanna, tellhim you would do the same to him. And I mean do it if he ever oversteps the mark.

I wish I had the solution for you, Godschild. He’s a horrible man x

[EeyoreNoMore]

Just wanted to echo the comments above, well done for making the call!

I guess solidarity between us is strong xx

[godschild]

Thankyou for your encouragement ladies it means so much. Ayanna he has not gone over totell him, he had no intention of it, it was just to try to intimidate me, it did not work,all it has done is shown me and reminded me of how much he has betrayed me in the past as well ,even encouraging my own daughter to get an harrasment order to me.

Serenity as I heard and watched this man , he was at one stage holding the toddler as he swore and ranted at the girl,his abuse intensified and I felt fear for the child and the girl, he could have at any moment turned physical and hurt them both or worse. this was all conducted in broad daylight in the road as well not behind closed doors so goodness knows what he is like in private to her, he knows that someone has reproted his behavoir now, my other neighbours could not have failed to hear it all but as ever like they have in the main with me extended no support at all.

We must show solidarity Eeyorenomore so many people just turn blind eyes and deaf ears to abuse, when they could help even if by calling the police, thank you all again ladies. xx

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