Triggers

[RedStrawberry]

I had my first job interview in a very long time so I was nervous enough. I found it quite triggering as it was a male panel (via videocall) and as they were asking the questions and responding to my answers it reminded me of my ex when he would bombard me with questions about why I had/hadn’t done something. I could almost hear him saying you’re not good enough. I didn’t get the job but it made me realise I don’t think I’m ready. I’m so frustrated that he’s messed my head up so much I can’t deal with a man asking me a question

[Ocean]

Hi RedStrawberry,

I’m sorry you had his words going through your head. I still have my ex’s words in my head years later. He use to tell me ‘nobody likes you, everybody hates you’. Quite often when I’m surrounded by many people, even if I’m getting along with them and they seem interested in our conversation, I feel like they don’t really like me. Even though I no longer live with my ex, he is still there in my mind. Sorry, I’m not really sure how to help. I just wanted you to know you are not alone and we understand.
Do you have close friends or family who can give you a list of the positive things about you that you can go over when you have doubts?
I feel like abusers target kind empathetic people. I’m sure you are a lovely person and you are good enough xx

[RedStrawberry]

Hi ocean. Thank you for your reply. They do get into your head don’t they? I find it helpful that on here people understand as my friends who have never experienced DA don’t get it. They try to sound like they do but then they’ll make a comment that’s meant to be helpful but it actually isn’t.

I do have some good friends and I’ll ask them. I hate the way he’s reduced my confidence to zero. I always thought I was empathetic but he used to say I wasn’t and that I was selfish. It really upset me as I never did anything for me everything was for the kids. But he went out with his friends at least once a week (normally more) with his friends often at short notice with no consideration for me or the kids.

[StrongLife]

Sorry about this situation. Can you try another interview- that one may not have been a fit – next one may be.

Regards

[Author]

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