Triggers

[Confused123]

Quite sad to find out my neighbour who is a female beats up her partner, i thought it was a one off when she actually told me first a few months ago, but the sad thing is i can hear the arguments and see it is a regular thing. Really set trigger of for me, feel so sorry for this guy and wish could approach him but he starts work so eaarly and finishes quite late so cant reach out to him. Just reminded me of how ex b in law used to beat my ex up . They have such a complicated relationship, it made me realize how so many of us just stay in a relationship due to debt owed . Think next time i see her will have to mention its wrong what she is doing, i know she wont like it but sometimes had to be pointed out to these people. Sad thing is i used to be so close to this lady and finding out she does this regular has made me keep my distance

[Lisa]

Hi Confused123,

It must be difficult for you to have found out how abusive she is. You also mentioned how close you were to this lady.

I think you have done the right thing by keeping your distance, your wellbeing is the most important thing.

Best Wishes,
Lisa

[Confused123]

HI Lisa
thxs for reply. yes will just keep my distance, not cause im sacared of her but cause i dont approve of her beahviour. I saw her husband (removed by moderator), was just like looking at a reflection of myself in the past , he look tired and drained and just kept his head down, i didnt have heart to upset him more even though i just waanted to offer him support, i knew by me talking to him he would receive more grief, really does touch my heart when people are abused, i pray they all see a way out

[Serenity]

Hi Confused,

I always find it sad to hear about women being the abusers.

I don’t think she’d listen even if you did say anything. Abusers don’t. She might then try to target you, and you’re still healing and quite vulnerable. I’d hate for you to be targeted by a bully.

Let’s hope her partner finds the strength to get out. Unfortunately, it needs to be their choice.

[Confused123]

Hey HUn

YOur right she wouldnt listen thats why im thinking very carefullyhow to deal with scenario, i think she knows shes in wrong as is keeping herself to herself, i hope he ddoes get strength to seek help , and well as for her if she brings up topic she has beaten him up , i will just comment its wrong and dont approve and its better she doesnt boast to tell me . She knows i was beaten up by my ex and i relocated to get awway from him and his family so she knows i hate violence

[Author]

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