Triggers – not strong enough

[Prince55]

I left (detail removed by Moderator) months ago with only my daughter in my arms I am now a single mum working 40 hours a week to support me and my daughter financially alone and now also he’s taking my to court for child arrangement.
I’m exhausted up late gathering evidence proving that this man is not safe to have our baby alone. Proving what he has done to me.

I just can’t cope with triggers. The one thing I had left was my job I’ve worked there for (detail removed by Moderator) years worked my way up.
I have a new boss now I’ve had to learn a new role which has been positive with better hours for baby and more money but I just can’t take criticism feels like I’m being attacked I just cry and want to leave and have a meltdown and put myself down. But it’s my job I can’t keep letting this affect my work.
Does anyone have any tips to help with triggers?

[swanlake]

I’m coming to realise that as courts and judges are meant to be impartial they seem to hear any old chat that our abusers come out with whilst we tie ourselves in knots trying to prove a case. It’s such hard work.
When I decided never to contact my abuser again I became quite unwell and was fortunate to have a few weeks off work anyway as it wasn’t a year round job. How might you feel about taking some sick leave from work to help you deal with the situation and give space for your feelings? It sounds like they value you if you’ve worked your way up and would want to look after you.
Even now I’m triggered by people and situations that remind me of my abuser and have had some counselling.

[Prince55]

(detail removed by Moderator)
Financially I don’t know if I can having to pay for solicitor fees I am just getting by now.
But the time off would help.

[browneyedmum]

On Youtube, type “(detail removed by Moderator). It is my very favourite meditation for triggers & anxiety.

Its a 10 minute guided meditation that walks you through bringing up the situation that was triggery, examining your feelings about it, and helping you let it go. I’ve done the meditation during work to help me through– its only 10 minutes and it helps me ‘reset’.

But then also, over time, it’s helped me recognise in real time when something has triggered me, and its like I’ve been able to train myself to recognise it was a trigger, consider my thoughts around it, and then let it go.

Also, going to the GP for anti-anxiety meds has been really good for me.

Use this as a temporary measure. For some of the extraordinary things that we are facing at this time, it cannot sustainably replace the advice of a good counsellor.

[Prince55]

Thank you I will have a look at the video!
Yes I am on anxiety meds this defo has helped reduced my anxiety I still struggle with loud bangs and people suddenly coming up to me but it’s reduced that feeling.

[browneyedmum]

Here is my very favourite meditation for triggers & anxiety: (detail removed by Moderator)

Its a 10 minute guided meditation that walks you through bringing up the situation that was triggery, examining your feelings about it, and helping you let it go. I’ve done the meditation during work to help me through– its only 10 minutes and it helps me ‘reset’.

But then also, over time, it’s helped me recognise in real time when something has triggered me, and its like I’ve been able to train myself to recognise it was a trigger, consider my thoughts around it, and then let it go.

Also, going to the GP for anti-anxiety meds has been really good for me.

Use this as a temporary measure. For some of the extraordinary things that we are facing at this time, it cannot sustainly replace the advice of a good counsellor.

[Author]

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