Trouble Sleeping

[Dragonfly]

I’ve been out a few months now and most of the time I think I’m doing ok. The main problem at the moment seems to be that I’m unable to sleep properly. I can’t get what he did to me out of my head it repeats itself over and over again. I’m not overthinking the situation I just can’t get it out of my brain.

I lie awake for hours with it continually going round my head when I do eventually get to sleep I have nightmares and wake all the time my sleep is so disturbed and I can’t function at work properly.

I tried sleeping tablets the help a bit at least I don’t remember my dreams but it does take a long time before I can get to sleep.

I think I’ll go back to the doctor and ask for more sleeping tablets but I was wondering if anyone had any tips on how I can get a good nights sleep.

I also can’t see his face anymore which is good but very confusing. I can only see his silhouette. Odd.

[WalkerInTheRain]

It sounds like you need an outlet for your experiences.
Have you had any counselling since you left?
It’s still relatively early days for you and the emotional repercussions can come in waves.
It may be possible that you have PTSD (obsessive thoughts and nightmares are symptoms) which is incredibly common after being in an abusive relationship. There are a number of different therapeutic options to treat it.

For me I try to stick to a sleep/wake routine even if I feel shocking. I avoid caffeine in the evening and I restrict alcohol.
Quiet activities before bed help me wind down; sewing, colouring in, reading.

[KIP.]

Hey there, sorry to hear you’re going through this but it’s still part of your brain processing everything. I found keeping a journal helped. Write it down when you wake up. Keep paper and pen next to your bed. I still sleep with a lamp on and the radio on low so that when I wake I’m distracted by the radio and light. If you can get out and walk during the day. Fresh air. This will pass eventually. Meantime have you had councelling? Don’t be hard on yourself, it will take a while to recover.

[danicali]

it’s like post trauma.. eventually he will get out of your head – you need time to “decompress” – it can take a few years or even more in some cases to get them out of your head and stop replaying all the horrid things they said or did to you

this another reason why courts are so idiotic to force a woman to continue to have contact with her abuser (when there’s kids) – because it constantly revictimises her to him – and she cannot heal until the contact stops altogether

try a relaxing CD before you go to bed, sometimes gentle sounds can switch off your brain and put you to sleep as they have a trance like effect – works for me sometimes anyway

stay away from caffeine and sugar after 6pm as that can also keep you awake

hope you get some better sleep soon

[Serenity]

Hi There,

I’ve been having dreadful trouble sleeping recently. It’s coincided with a blip in my anxiety levels.

I find that exercise, a hot milky drink before bed and telling yourself last thing at night ‘I am safe’ like a mantra helps me. I think it’s your subconscious replaying your fears. It’s sounds weird- but it helps.

Comfortable lighting, clean bed sheets- anything to make you feel pampered and cosy.

Counselling may help you work through your fears x

[lover of no contact]

Hi dragonfly,
I usually wake in the night and if somethings on my mind. For me I find it best to not just lie there with the thoughts going around in my head. Although quite tired and its the last thing to do I reach for a light-hearted book I have that is quite humorous in nature. I read this for a while. This seems to fill my heart with light-hearted thoughts. I fall straight back to sleep.

Also when I was with my abuser and I couldn’t sleep and he was in the bed next to me and I was frightened as he had upped the ante on me with his aggressions and there were no nice periods from him only the nasty I would pray to God to please wrap his arms around me as I slept to please hold me in His arms. Surprisingly this image used to really help me fall asleep. I felt a bit safer even though his lordship (or so he thought he was) was snoring next to me.

I walk an hour a day and I find the exercise and fresh air good for sleep and good for settling my thoughts. I also can’t have any caffeine in a day and that really includes chocolate too (although I break that one when needed) but I’m very sensitive to caffeine, it affects my sleep.

Also if I don’t sleep well at night I will grab a nap during the day. I try to make myself not panic about not being able to sleep. Easier said than done I know.

[Dragonfly]

Hey ladies. Thanks for your replies.

Asked my doctor if there’s any therapies or counseling I can get access to, apparently I’m not ‘ill’ enough. I don’t think they’re really listening. I’ve been keeping very busy,I’ve gutted my flat found a few of his belongings they’re all in the bin now.

When I go to bed I put the radio on really low I’ve done this for more than 30 years, I put it on snooze for 90 minutes I try to concentrate on the words of the songs and if I don’t know the song I try to guess the song, anything to take my mind off it.

I literally lie there and talk to myself, I tell myself myself to stop thinking about it – out loud, it’s trying to deal with it. Then I go back to planning my new kitchen, playing bills and then sleep and complete exhaustion in the morning.

I know I’ll get there. Would just love more than 3 hrs at a time.

A lad I’m training at work is having a terrible time with historical abuse,he gave me a book that makes me smile….f*ck that by Jason Headley. I think it’s a book you pass on to the next survivor ☺

[Dragonfly]

One more thing…… I can’t actually visualise the abusers face, this is a good thing I just realised I can only see his silhouette a black silhouette screaming at me and hurting me

[White Rose]

Im no psychologist but it sounds as if you are making progress with the mending of your subconscious mind and that the harshness of the memories are blunted a little.
Sleep is a weird thing! Any hiccup upsets the equilibrium and nightmares certainly don’t help.
Fresh air helps me along with reduced caffeine and trying not to tax my brain too much before trying to sleep. All hard to achieve at times. Warm baths just overheat me and wake me up and warm drinks mean I sometinmmes wake needing a pee!! Find what suits you – lavender oil on a tissue tucked inside your pillows case, music, whatever it is keep it as a routine. My GP told ne to keep a pen snd oaper by the bed and if I woke thinking about stuff to write it down but not turn light on… apparently it helps and all you see in the morning is the odd illegible scribble. Sleep well tonight x

[Dragonfly]

Well it’s a night in with my son. Snacks and rubbish TV. ☺ at least I don’t have to wake up early tomorrow.

I know all of this is my brain processing it. It’s painful and actually quite annoying too. I think I’m doing fine then it all crashes again. I’ll get there.

Thank you all

[Author]

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