Trying to escape

[MysteryCat99]

Hi, this is my first time posting here. I live with my mum, and she has been an alcoholic for most of my life (im (detail removed by moderator) now). she went to rehab for (detail removed by moderator) but was asked to leave for drinking while in there and since she’s been back home its been a nightmare. she’s constantly shouting and arguing with me, and (detail removed by moderator) she refused to leave me alone and I had to lock myself in my bedroom while she shouted through the door and tried to break in. I honestly dont know what would have happened if she had gotten in. she then sat outside my door and held it shut so I couldn’t get out and banged on the door all night so I couldn’t sleep. this happened (detail removed by moderator) days in a row. this isn’t the first time either, both her and my father used to hit me and my sister as children especially if we cried. I found out (detail removed by moderator) that she stole my identity and had been posing as me on the internet for (detail removed by moderator). I have PTSD and Fibromyalgia from living with her. I have contacted our housing association to try and get out of the house as I can’t live there anymore and theres nowhere else I can go. im not sure what to do at this point and im scared stiff that the housing association will want to speak to her and she will be too drunk and it will affect my chances of getting a tenancy of my own. I can’t afford to private rent as its an expensive area of (detail removed by moderator) and I can only work a few days a week because I am physically disabled which also means I can’t go to a refuge. does anyone have any advice on dealing with escaping?
thank you, MysteryCat99.

 

[Janedoeissad]

I am so sorry to hear about your terrible situation. Have you tried calling the helpline? The ladies are really helpful and I am sure they can help you out. You cannot keep living in the situation you are in as, as you say its is not healthy for you.

[MysteryCat99]

Thank you for replying. I haven’t tried this helpline but I tried the National domestic abuse helpline and I couldn’t get through for ages so I tried their online chat and they said to go to a refuge but can’t advise me on anything more so I didnt think it was helpful. I will try this helpline though x

[KIP.]

The next time this happens dial 999 and get the police to deal with her. They will give you a crime number which you can use for help with housing. Domestic abusers are supposed to be removed from the property. Not the victim. Either way, living with an abuser will destroy your mental and physical health. Once you are free from abuse you will see a huge improvement in both. Are you receiving counselling?

[MysteryCat99]

the housing group advised me to do this too, thank you. I considered calling the police but I didn’t know if they’d even come out for a call like this and if they did I doubt they would have taken her anywhere and I was frightened about what might happen when they left. the crime number would be helpful though. I have told the housing group about everything and they have said its logged against our address now so it can help. I’ve been offered PTSD focused counselling and I was waiting for pain management and counselling and CBT to do with health issues but all has been stopped because of the virus. thank you for replying

[starqueen]

The advice you’ve been given is really good. I’d also say if you can document what’s happening. Any instances of any kind of abuse, write them down and the effect it’s having on you. Then you have evidence if you need it for the police or housing association. good luck! It’s horrible to have an abuser for a parent, sending you lots of love.

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