Trying to make me sell the house

[Wishingforthelifeideserve]

My ex and I split in (detail removed by Moderator). He’s very manipulative and controlling. He told me I need to buy him out of the house. I have done everything I need to on my side of things, I have a new mortgage ready and waiting, but he’s refusing to sign any paperwork.
He snapped (detail removed by Moderator) keys in my front door on (detail removed by Moderator) consecutive days, so myself and the kids couldn’t get into the house. He was arrested for this, I have so many police reports against him, but nothing changes. He gets let off without anything against his name.
I received an email from his solicitor saying they are going to force the sale of the house and that I owe him almost (detail removed by Moderator). In the email it doesn’t mention that there are children living in the property, just that he wants money. I owe this guy nothing, I’m in debt because of him, I’m not recieving any child maintenance, he gave me (detail removed by Moderator) last month for the 2 kids, and then took it back. He doesn’t care about them, he just wants to control what is going on. I’m at my wit’s end. The constant messages, phone calls, emails, he even turned up at my work looking for me.
I cannot carry on like this, I’m mentally physically and emotionally drained because of this. I just need it to end

[KIP.]

He’s not interested in resolving things he’s just using this process to further abuse. His solicitor can write what they want but they have no power to force the sale. Only a court can do that. Do you have support from your local women’s aid? If you have not already done so then go zero contact with him. Use a third party for all communication. Contact gives him access and that he will use to continue abuse. Abusers are pathological liars so keep everything you can for evidence.

[KIP.]

Have you considered a non molestation order?

[Anonymous]

I wondered the same. It can provide a bit of respite.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope for the best outcome for you xx

[Wishingforthelifeideserve]

I was told by ndvc that there isn’t enough evidence for non molestation. I have messages dating back months, calls, voicemails, but it’s not good enough. What has to happen to me before someone helps me?

[Anonymous]

I think something needed to happen within the last ten days or something like that. Locking you out of the house could have caused fear, and showing up at work. Was that too long ago?
I still minimised a lot of what my ex did after we separated because that is what he conditioned me to do. Take note of everything that makes you feel unsafe. Just him showing up to your home, even if he does own it with you. He doesn’t have the right to cause fear.
I think the ndvc need the events to be recent to be able to provide help. But I think you can make an application yourself with more historic incidences.
Best wishes xx

[Anonymous]

There is also an order that prevents him from trying to live in your property. I don’t remember what it’s called.

[Living Warrior]

sorry to jump on,
but you have messages dating back months aswell as calls and voicemails? but its not good enough for a non molestation order?
Ok, My advice, and feel free to ignore it
get in touch with your local womens aid, i think that who ever told you that you havnt enough for a non mol is wrong.
the fact the police have been there is enough in itself, with the messages.
womens aid can point you in the direction of a local dv solicitor, https://www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence
advice on applying for one, citizens advice can also help, but after i spoke to womens aid i didnt need anyone else, my police force put me through to womens aid and suggested the order, some things such as emergency court orders in cases of dv can be applied for on legal aid due to the emergency and “he” doesnt have to know until its in place.

keep every message, but ignore them, a kip said, they use this to get to you and continue the abuse, you can report the messages as they happen and the police can just “Log them” so if it goes to court etc its a pattern of behaviour.
i hope this helps a little

[Put the kettle on]

I agree he’s just doing it to continue to be controlling and abusive.

[Author]

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