13th February 2020 at 10:57 pm #97674Blossom3Participant
My partner is now being really obsessive after the separation. Always texting, calling me and turning up at my house either with children or just for any given opportunity!
The texts are endless and even when I don’t reply or put OK he will start the conversation again.
I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, but even that doesnt bother him. I’ve told him to stop messaging me saying how much he loves me and how he will get sorted and change to win me back. Then he will question if there is a chance in the future, I’ve told him I feel backed into a corner and it’s just for him to cling onto any bit of hope.
I’m so drained with it all. When he contacts me I just get this massive wave of anxiety come over me. I’ve told him, but he won’t listen!
I may of been brave enough to end the relationship, but things don’t feel any different. I still feel trapped and suffocated by him and it’s really stressing me out.
I just don’t know what to do?!
14th February 2020 at 8:32 am #97684KIP.Participant
His contact is triggering the PTSD. The PTSD that he caused. Absolutely zero contact is how you recover. You can’t begin to recover until you feel safe and having him in your life isn’t making you feel safe. He’s just continuing his behaviour from a different address. Use a third party for child hand overs and for an contact regarding the children.
14th February 2020 at 3:57 pm #97723Blossom3Participant
He doesnt see there is a problem. Last night messaged me 3 times in the night as it said I was still logged on, online but I’d nodded off as having trouble sleeping and been using relaxation music to help me sleep. Woke up this morning to flowers at the door and a card plus a day out for us all.
I’ve told him not to contact me today at all as I am totally stressed out and all these controlling games are draining the life out of me! He said h was stressed too, I ended it and he didnt even get a say.
14th February 2020 at 4:40 pm #97725Anonymous
My ex was exact same I told him I couldn’t give him any hope at all. Told him not to contact me unless it was arrangements about or child. I told him also I would not reply to any of his messages unless it was about arrangements about it child. That did not stop him messaging me it is very hard but you must not reply to him unless it is about your kids I got to the point where I just put my phone on aeroplane mode alot as the anxiety he caused me from the constant messages where gettin out of hand at least the one thing I could control was when I received the messages when I turned my aeroplane mode off. Eventually it got too much he was playin games using our child I didn’t want to go down the route of solicitor but I had to so he received a letter from the solicitor saying about contact having to be respectful and about the child and the messages need to stop. They have reduced greatly but not completely stopped and he still is playing games but the difference is big compared to before the solicitor letter.
14th February 2020 at 6:04 pm #97731KIP.Participant
Change your number. If you need to keep the sim he has then you can swap it round in your phone when you want to contact him. All other times you can have some peace.
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