Turning up for child – rights & any advice

[Rubymurray]

With me getting out so recently…. feeling around blindly & awaiting his reactions etc…

Worst case scenario, if he turned up at childcare place asking to collect child & they let child go (even after ringing me)

Is there anything AT ALL I can do….

I have my appt wth DA police person to record the situation only (no crime done)… tomorrow.

Had some more free legal advice, which has left me considering options of booking & having to pay for first legal appt.

But I am just reaching out in case there is something you guys may know at this stage, that I could say or action…..

[Cuppatea]

Have you spoken to the child care people about your situation and how you would prefer to collect your child on your own?

[Cuppatea]

In terms of DA, I would suggest speaking to women’s aid and see if you’re eligible for legal aid. Also check citizens advice as they can help you to find a lawyer who would give you free legal advice.

Sorry I realised you’ve already got some legal advice. But always best to go to more than 1 lawyer and see what they suggest.

[Newboundaries]

I haven’t left yet but this is what is stalling me. If he finds me he can pick up the child and not return the child. The police won’t get involved as you both have parental responsibility. Unless you have a court order in place and to get the child back you have to then do the court order yourself. I would definitely seek advice from more than one solicitor, think more specific questions- this is what I have learnt. I got advice from 2 solicitors so far, the second one said I can have legal aid as I am on a low income – but both have said different information about my rights.
Sorry not good news x but keep researching the good news is that you’re out so well done for that. And in terms of child care, you can request that only you pick the child up.

[diymum@1]

It depends is it a private child minder or state run ? I was worried about this too as my daughter was at after school club they told me if he came for her they couldn’t do anything. You really need to get this written up in your order. I let them know the situation and they said if they had a copy of the order they could then stop him xx I know it’s not right in this day and age xx

[diymum@1]

You could Ask the solicitor to write to him asking not to do this until u have set times set in stone by the court xx like a reasonable request as this is less disruptive for the child so if he goes against this he will look unreasonable and this won’t be favourable xx

[Anonymous]

These sites might help you….

https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce

Children and the law: when parents separate

What about our children?
If you are concerned that your partner
is abusing your children you can report
this to the police. You may also be able
to obtain orders from the family court
preventing further abuse such as a nonmolestation order or prohibited steps
order.
You will need to think about who the
children will live with and how often they
will see the other parent (if at all). For
some families this will be obvious and
there is no dispute about who the children
will live with. In some cases, the parents
reach an agreement. In some cases, the
parents cannot agree and need legal
advice. Children and the law: when
parents separate gives information on
making decisions about children after
separation and legal options if you and
the other parent cannot agree.
You can take your children with you when
you leave the family home without the
other parent’s consent unless there is a
court order forbidding you from doing
so. There are applications that the other
parent can make to the family court if
he is concerned or disagrees with your
decision. The court will decide what is
best based on what it thinks is best for
the children.
If your partner has threatened to take
your children away from you, you may
need to apply for an urgent court order
called a prohibited steps order. This order
is explained further in our guide on
Children and the law: when parents
separate.
It is important to be aware of who has
parental responsibility for your children.
If you are the children’s birth mother
you will automatically have parental
responsibility for the children. You
may share parental responsibility for
the children with other people (such
as the father). Our Children and the
law: parental responsibility guide explains more about who has parental
responsibility and who can obtain it.
If the children mainly live with you,
you can make an application to the
Child Maintenance Service for child
maintenance for your children. You do
not have to pay an application fee if you
are a victim of domestic violence. See
our guide Children and the law: child
maintenance.
If you are eligible for child benefit but
this has been paid into your partner’s
account, contact the Child Benefit
Office and inform them of the change in
circumstances. Ask for the child benefit to
be paid into your account.

This was copied from this link….https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/What-Are-My-Legal-Options.pdf

[Rubymurray]

Have I asked this already – Can anyone answer whether –

– I have a right NOT to tell him where I’ll be living with our child at this early stage ??

I am standing my ground and repeating firmly I dont have to tell you

This is his main focus to find out this information – (of course it is)
I say ‘I dont have to tell you where it is’ and that I’m uncomfortable having you know the address at this stage’ and that this doesn’t mean you wont have some time with child once we agree.

Obviously, telling him directly my reasons would make me feel much more vulnerable because I dont know how he would react, and ultimately I just need to know I do have a right not to tell him.

As another day goes on, I am closer to saying no more phone calls – and to communicate regarding child via text & email from now on.

[iliketea]

Yes if there is DA involved you are protecting your child. Although you can try and do this alone I’d recommend a lawyer if you can. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune abd for these first bits it might help you. If you have applications in to the court re DA then you have a right not to disclose your whereabouts. Are you seeking a non mol? And/or occupation order?
Well done by the way! You must feel relieved x

[diymum@1]

You could give him an alternative address family member ? To send court papers etc which is a one off really as apart from official writ it will be emailed xx I’d recommend setting up a new email for corresponding with him and your lawyer only as it can be quite triggering. You may get to the point u want a third party to relay correspondence to you as he will try to push you xx just keep yourself right. My lawyer told me I really needed an open line for communication but doing it through a third party will take a weight of your shoulders xx the court were fine with me doing this the reason being he was abusive – you have rights

[Rubymurray]

@newboundaries how can i request that only i pick child up?

Do you mean request vua court order or via him or childcare setting??

Thanks so much everyone, i wouldnt be without you all.

Much love xx

[Author]

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