Twisted sister

[shine bright 2]

Didn’t want to hijack someone elses post, but wanted to say hello

You are so right in what you say…getting out is just the start. I know I’m lucky in many ways. He got locked up and I got away. Because he’s a criminal I got lots of help… An I’m grateful. But like you say everyone tell you how lucky you are and I feel like ” yeah lucky. I can’t contact my friends or even family. Im in a place I don’t know. New doctor, new schools, new name” and I wonder how I’m supposed to rebuild years worth of stuff

Twisted sister I missed you. I remember you and you helped me so much with your wise words. I been through everything getting away from him. Struggled with nightmares and self harm, loneliness and isolation and the weirdness of being picked up and dropped into a new world

I’m afraid alot. Initially he went back to home town even though I couldn’t. Now they don’t even know where he is. But they tell me that’s ok, because they know where he isn’t. I wish I. Oils be so positive. Only my kids keep me going and they are growing and blossoming in ways that I can’t believe.
Everyday I wish there was someone to put their arms around me. Everyday I wish I could make it all go away. I’m tired of proffessionals even though they helped me.

How are you doing TS ( you changed your name on here) I’ve not been in here cos just trying to make a life, but I miss the suppor. God I hope you are good. I hope so much you are ok.. it’s all so unfair.
Sending you love and prayers. X

[Twisted Sister]

oh i missed you too love. its so goodto hear from you and that he’s gone. I wish i could say good, but i am struggling to start a new life, I have never really left the old one, and i think thats the way of ptsd. i still live in fear every day, with horrendous nightmares. they are not relentless and paralysing like they were, but they are still bad in terms of whats normal. i used to be paralysed to the bed, and i haven’t had that for a long time… so much improvement.

my wish is that i could disappear completely and not be stalked, and know that so that i could have peace of mind. i feel i will never have that. someone posted a thread on just wanting to be old and die, i can relate. I exist only for my children, and I’m not the person i was, and prefer them not be around that. I want them out and away from me, no matter how much i love them. twice i have nearly given them up to SS. I see ptsd in them now, that i was too overwhelmed before to see. its so shocking to see and be so helpless. i know ptsd is denial of things too, and i see that in them.

i think there are lots of ladies like us out there, still living through the nightmare that was their life, in an alien community with broken relationship skills/confidence/trust.

i am over-joyed to hear the effect this freedom has had on your babies!!! feel quite emotional to hear that. i know it was so hard to see them suffer, and i still have flashes of my babies faces in terror, white with shock, unable to speak, and i didn’t protect them.

i am honestly not looking for words to make it better, i hope it will go in time, many of my flashbacks have subsided a lot, so the time and distance does make a difference.

i know you went to fp at one point, and i think i went to the same one (it was very full!), i suspect we actually crossed paths, although neither of us are still in that area (if indeed we were).

so lovely to see you pop up here again, and thank you for your post. maybe we should pm, rather than have convo via posts? happy for you to pm me.

warmest wishes ts

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