Twisting 'friends' around his finger

[Starmoon]

It doesn’t rain it pours. A ‘friend’ of mine misguidedly thought she was helping by getting involved and texting him. I’m so angry that she’s gotten involved. She’s not at all friends with him.. She only knows him because of me and they’ve actually only spoken a hand full of times. I don’t want to sound harsh but she’s always been one with little common sense and isn’t very bright (saying something coming from me)… She supposedly took it upon herself to text him to ‘level’ things out and stop things getting out of hand… But in doing that, it’s gotten way out of hand. I’m fuming that she’s spoken to him.. Perhaps I’m wrong and I know this sounds childish but with her being my friend, I wanted her on my side without having to hear his version of events. Now she’s trying to talk to me and put her 10 pence worth in over things he’s spoken to her about. I now feel like I’ve got to defend myself and prove myself to her as well as everyone els. It’s a nightmare.
She, like most of my other friend- he hated me talking to. He would cause such a fuss if I even merely suggested going out to socialize with her because she has a number of one night stands and he couldn’t trust me when I was with her apparently. When ever she sent me a msg or her name was mentioned he would make nasty remarks. Yet now he is apparently telling her he’s always thought she was a good girl and i clearly don’t realize how lucky I am to have such good friends considering the fuss I cause. I’m in a lose lose situation. If I go mad at her then he’s proven rite

[Lisa]

Hi Starmoon,

I am sorry to read about your situation. I can see that you have had a lovely reply but sadly it hasn’t been posted below this post. Sadly we all know how manipulative and cunning abusive men can be and he has clearly turned on all his charm to this ‘friend’. I think I would gently say to your friend that you find it hurtful her having anything to do with him, you are moving on and her having contact with him is holding you back. You are not issuing an ultimatum but she can decide how she wishes to proceed and if she continues to have contact with him you can perhaps subtly start to ‘drift’ away from this friend. You are doing brilliantly Starmoon so please don’t let this hold you back from your recovery.

Best wishes,

Lisa

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