Unanswered Questions

[Anonymous]

I left because he asked me to leave. (Biggest regret). He now wants nothing to do with me or his young babygirl.
Christmas is round the corner and it’s so painful. I feel like I’m getting more and more unanswered questions. I wish I could understand why I was never good enough. Why he never fought for me or his baby. My little family has been ripped apart and now he will never speak to me again. I can’t stop thinking about me or the guilt I’m feeling. I can’t go back. He’s not worth me loosing my babygirl over. But I wish I could just have a conversation with him to understand.
I’m sat here so confused

[Lisa]

Hi RedPanda2023,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about what you are going through. I can understand this is a really painful time for you- be kind to yourself. Abusive men know exactly what they are doing- they have no respect for women and choose to behave in this way. That is not a reflection on you. He has made the decision to not be in your daughters life- that isn’t your fault. I understand wanting to have that closure but abusive men do not take responsbility and you wouldn’t get a good response if you did have that conversation with him.

You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.

Take care and keep posting

Lisa

[Lostnalone]

Redpanda2023. I’m so sorry your going through this so close to Christmas. Have a look at what Lisa as advised. Bloom are wonderful. U are good enough for you’re daughter!! As for him,he won’t give u your answers as in his mind,he’s not done anything wrong!! U wil not no your head for you’re a*s at moment, as rejection without answers is a tough 1. Men can be so cruel. Stay strong and just look at your wonderful daughter ❤️

[Anonymous]

Hey Lisa,
Thank you. I ended up having a good Christmas; didn’t once think about him. ☺️
I know if I was to even attempt a conversation he wouldn’t give me any answers, but instead lash out and continue to blame me for the situation. Give me one line answer like “yup” “okay” “👍🏽” which on its own fuels my anger 😠.
I’m trying my best to move on from him. Each day is getting a bit easier. I’ve had no contact with him for a good while now. If I was to have a conversation with him… honestly I don’t know what I would say to him. It would be a ray of emotions. Which then to him he wouldn’t get affected by. It would be completely pointless and a waste of time. I 100% know he will never take accountability for his actions and what lead to me having to in turn go into refuge. I honestly really really hope he never bothers us again. As more and more time is passing I feeling more and more resentful towards him. He doesn’t deserve any part of his daughter’s life. Sounds cruel but I would put a stop to it. As I would say to him (if he tried to go for access) “why do you deserve to see her when you’ve never been there?! Yes she your daughter, but you’ve shown no interest in her for all this time”.
I just hope one day he stops being in my head. I want to move on.

(detail removed by moderator) x

[Author]

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