Understanding Gaslighting

[Anonymous]

So after last week I had constant messages up and down from the I love you to the hate and aggression I had to tell him yet again I’m not givin him another chance thought things had cooled down and had a few quiet days no hassle and any contact was respectful and about our child.

(detail removed by moderator) I had to pick something up from the house and from then I’ve had constant messages. I always classed them as unpredictable and all over the place but now I think I am fully understanding the term gaslighting distorting things that have actually happened to make me doubt myself using situations to make me feel sorry for him.
After so many months of me telling him about his anger issues and he needs to seek help I gave him chance after chance untill there was none left. He now says I still haven’t told him what changes he needs to make.and he cant understand why I left.

I have told him along with his family telling him to which he agreed that he needs anger management. I am not responding to any of his messages. It’s so hard not to when you just feel like lettin loose and again tell him but I know if I do it will just be 2 days of aggressive messages it’s just not worth the argument.

Just feeling really drained as we are now back to him trying to make me feel guilty and paint me as the bad guy. Usually I’d put put my phone to sleep for a little to give myself a break but my child is on an overnight visit with him and I would not do that Incase of emergency.

I would really love to be inside of his head for a minute to see if he knows exactly what he is doin or not. I just don’t trust or believe a thing he says.

[KIP.]

He knows exactly what he’s doing, he simply doesn’t care about you or your feelings, it’s all about regaining control. Use a third party as a point of contact via texts. Change your number. Absolutely zero direct contact with him is the only way the fog will clear and you can start to recover.

[Author]

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