- This topic has 9 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 2 months ago by
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Serious mental illness does not cause one person to abuse another. Most people with mental illnesses that I have met were by contrast quite sensitive to others, if not too over sensitive. Abusive acts are a choice that people make regardless of wether or not they have a mental illness.A victims of domestic violence and/or coercive control is abused by an abuser. If he also happens to have a mental illness, that is a coincidence rather than the cause. I.M.O!Look after yourself.
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That thought occurred to me but then I realised he would be abusing everyone. But he can control himself in his work, with his friends, at the shops, when there are witnesses. So no, it’s not a mental illness, it’s a choice to abuse. He’s not your responsibility. Look after yourself because he won’t x
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Yes I even sent mine to see a psychologist as he seemed to have rages where he foamed at the mouth quite literally whilst screaming at me, punching me. Years later I realised he is perfectly in control of himself at all times, he is quite literally never unaware of what and who is around him and how he can control them. His abuse of me became complex, sneaky and planned. I have seen him in everyday stressful experiences that would have made me run away as fast as possible and he was calm, soft voiced and always won out.I can’t be specific but think of something really annoying that you have to do like ring a bank and listening to music for 20 minutes then being passed from pillar to post for an hour. Stuff like that but even more stressful.
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Thank you Cecile and KIP, sometimes I don’t know what to do with this abuser. Maybe my abuser has an undiagnosed mental condition or maybe it’s not? I don’t know? I tried helping him but he was so rude to me so I stopped helping. Everyday this abuser has tantrums like a two year old when he is a grown adult. I phoned a helpline the other day to ask for advice, I get headaches all the time. Now I just write in my journal because I heard it helps with my stress.
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Hello 👋🏼
Yes I think this can happen, however it’s no excuse to abuse people, I have mental illnesses and still know how to treat people and my abuser also has mental health issues but refuses to acknowledge it..
It took me ages to convince my partner to seek help… and he only started to seek help once the doctor advised it.I hope the person in question here eventually seeks help for yours and their sake, take care
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Yes, but it wasn’t my job to fix him
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Thanks KIP, AnkaBa and Landy. Even just now my abuser was acting childish, he was doing horrible things to me to catch my attention because he is an attention-seeker. I just ignored the abuser and covered my eyes. I’m trying my best to be strong, I’ve endured years of this and I’m getting better at ignoring the abuser. Everytime the abuser comes into the room I just don’t look at his eyes, I cover my eyes with my hands. I’m going through other things in my life where I am getting emotional support and this abuser doing these horrible things to me is just too much sometimes. I phone helplines a lot like Samaritans and they help me get through my issues.
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My ex has a mental health issue I don’t believe his mental health has any relation to how he has treated me
I have always been supportive of him regards mental issues.
However he is now using the mental health issue to make me feel guilty things like I left him he is stuggling in his mental state etc. I don’t think it’s fair that he uses this. I have my own medical issues (not mental) but has been saying things like I was there when you had something wrong with you but you have left me when I need mental health support and that I just up and left.
I didn’t leave because he had mental health issues I have been with him for many years so that was never the issue. I left him because of the coercive behaviour
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