- This topic has 27 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 11 months ago by
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Morning everyone 🙂 Have you noticed how every day there are so many more posts going up on new topics that some are getting pushed further and further down being missed? A lot of desperate and struggling women are going unheard maybe? It really upsets me for them when I find they have no replies to their asking for help and support. Lisa is on overtime, bless her🤗 Abuse and the affects of lockdown is certainly impacting on lots of lives.
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@Hazydayz been thinking the same. Should we try and mobilise and organise the threads a bit? I’ve been trying to respond to everyone but getting overwhelmed…Perhaps we could start a couple of posts that could help women in general, Im noticing really similar things coming up, and respondents saying the same things. Then it might free up for the individual posts that need support too and then won’t get lost. Its quite overwhelming if you’re new now looking through all the posts. Especially if you’re new to the concept and idea that you’re in an abusive relationship. And its really hard to get information. If we pull together it might really help everyone?
Just an idea of similar things, that people are often looking for clarity on, or information on.
– Is it abuse? – could we start a post “This is my abuser” then each woman could write theirs, and read the bullet points, behaviours, and get comfort in seeing the similarities, or not similarites in all, but still realise it is abuse, they are all so different in their “methods”. e.g. I still panic that because he’s not forcing me to have sex (he’s the total opposite), then its not abuse, but this isn’t the case.
– Information on leaving/ending if you’re not married
– Information on leaving/ending if you are married
– Information on leaving/ending if have kids
– Occupation Orders
– Non-Molestation Orders
– Solicitors
Does that make sense or does it sound confusing?
Probably loads of others, we all have experience in different aspects of this.And then I feel it would be amazing if @Braelynn did a weekly Kick-Up-the-Bum post to keep us motivated!!
What do you think? xx-
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Hi again 🙂 iliketea. Just wanting to say because I didn’t earlier… Your so lovely! you have such a kind heart thinking of others and doing your best sending such lovely messages to those you see are in need of them. Just like you did for me last night💞 Now, I’m Just wanting to ask… You been able to organise any of those plans you came up with? I’m gonna try do my bit but organisation isn’t my strong point, I have to admit! And your right about becoming easily overwhelmed in here😳 and it is hard work keeping up isn’t it! Is it something to do with being a newbie? If you are too? Or a talker like me?spending hours and hours typetalking! Xx
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If you see a post like this then try to just do a symbol As a reply if you don’t have time to reply. Any symbol This way it bumps the post it up to the top x 💕
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That’s an excellent idea KIP ❤️
I’ve noticed the increase in posts but decline of us older ones. I think this period has been hard on us all for a variety of reasons. I know that personally I have found it really hard and as I’m really struggling I don’t trust myself to give good advice or support.
But I really like the symbol idea…..it bumps the post up but also says we’re here 💕
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Hi Hazydayz
Thank you for bringing this up! You have such a kind nature and so much empathy for others.I agree that it is so important that every survivor who posts gets good supportive replies.
Iliketea, you have great suggestions and ideas, thank you for taking the time to try and help, it is much appreciated.
KIP’s suggestion is also a great idea!
Take care and keep posting!
Lisa
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I know I’ve not been on long but it’s really difficult to tell the difference between new posts and posts that have been around for a few days, I try and just do a quick look at the topics that’s been posted since I was last on but i sometimes look at posts 2 or 3 times because I’ve not remembered the topic title even though I’ve realised that it’s not one I am needing to track because it doesn’t relate to my situation. Is there a way that posts that an individual has looked at before can be marked as read?
More organisation of threads would be great. Or could you do more main forum topics? Not sure if that’s the right word, my brains a bit hazy today!
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Hi Sleepy
Thanks for your feedback and suggestion. Just to let you know some information which you may find helpful, if you go on the Topics page https://survivorsforum.womensaid.org.uk/topics/ it lists the topics in order and if you look under where is says voices, if the number only says ‘1’ it means the post has not had a reply yet, hope that makes sense.
Take care and keep posting
Lisa
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I am loving it!! Yup, will be glad to partake here! You guys are too cute and loving and warm!! Love the ideas. I’ll be more vigilant myself. This time is horrific, it really is. So so hard to be in a pressure cooker. And it is so hard to muster up the courage to post in the first place….
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I’m thinking that maybe if there was a post that was on a thread like “Getting out” for example, that doesn’t move. It just stays in place at the top somehow. Magic! LOL! But in that post would be a ton of information about “how to get out”. Then maybe a blurb at the bottom that says, feel free to make your own personal postings but this is for quick reference to you… Your thoughts?
I know when people are fog brained, going round in circles, depressed, etc., they have tunnel vision, very much so. Information may be on the site otherwise but they either just have enough energy to post or they are so scattered in their thinking, they can’t reason where to go find what. You guys know how that is….
Then same thing on “Is this Abuse?” Have a post that doesn’t move and stays at the top where things are written out about what abuse looks like, especially the covert kind… With, of course, some really good links, books that they can access.
Then when someone comes in and they may only have a very few minutes………and not much energy to spare, they can at least see this and go read it quickly. Not sure if this is even possible……. Lisa? Thoughts anyone? This way it’s like a little power pellet and they don’t have to go searching around. Sometimes these women only have minutes, seconds… I know how it was when your brain is fried, emotions are high and you are still in the thick of it. My brain was scrambled.
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Me either. Lisa will know and advise….
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I get all weird with technical things and kick whatever. Most of the time that works! Weird………oops, that means I’m abusive to objects. Not good……….need to find a counseling group for that one……
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Pinned posts would be great. I asked before about this in terms of issues to do with lockdown and they suggested writing it myself. Don’t know if there’s the capacity for them to do it. That’s why I started the couple of ones to see if people could add their opinions, advice etc on those specific topics to help keep in one place, but totally agree if it could be pinned quick reference it would be SO much easier and better. It’s taken me a long time, years, to get the information/advice/legal stuff/and all the understanding – we should all train as IDVAs we’d be pro’s.
Lisa are pinned posts Possible? Xx -
If they are, then we should collaborate with Lisa about what we’d like to be in that pinned initial post…. What women want, need, etc. So that it’s very precise and goes straight to it. Lisa is prolly going oh nooo, more work here for me! Sorry………it just came up. You know us, we’re busy little bees here. All I know is women just don’t have the whatever to do alot of searching. And some get totally lost by the wayside because they give up trying. So if they are looking, I think we have to make it as easy as possible to find the answers quickly. Being in an abusive situation too, is not conducive to doing alot of searching…
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Good idea Braelynn.
I know someone will probably be groaning with this idea too but is there a way of dividing the issues of abuse up, say sexual abuse, coercive, Historic etc. I know that for a lot of people things will overlap but I would love to easily be able to find help with rape And historic abuse and you have to search through loads of old posts to get anything and i don’t have much energy to do that. -
Yes, ‘pinned’ posts within each group is a great idea. I can write one for DVPN’s and DVPO’s, what they are and the reasoning behind them.
Also, on previous forums I’ve been on, it your write a comment on a thread and then other people comment on that thread after you, the thread becomes highlighted so that you can read other responses. We only get notifications on here if someone has written on a thread we have started.
@lottieblue – the ‘voices’ and numbers comes up next to the topics if you search for this site on ‘edge’, when I used to go in to the site from ‘chrome’ it didn’t. It also tells you how long ago someone left a comment and the username of the last person to leave a comment. Try a different search engine and see if it works that way. -
Hi everyone,
I would like to thank you all for coming up with these ideas, at Women’s aid we are always looking for suggestions and feedback. Survivors are at the heart of everything we do. I can’t confirm if this is something we can do right now, but we will certainly look into this.
Lottieblue- Yes this is because you are on your phone, but if you’re on a computer you should be able to see it.
Take care and keep posting!
Lisa
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