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My dad died (detail removed by moderator) and I am numb. Normally I would reach to hubby for comfort but I can’t. I feel adrift and so lonely. I think he was hoping I would turn to him and things could go back to how they were.
I have my friend telling me I shouldn’t be cooking and everything for him but it’s all I know to do. I don’t want to live in a permanent war zone. Hubby has told our eldest that He is trying his hardest to make it work and I keep changing what is wrong. So she says I should walk away and not play with his head.
I suggested I moved out to give us both space and he went into panic mode barely leaves my side again except for work.
I am just so messed up and confused. I am hurting people around me and I hate that it’s me doing that. -
So sorry to hear about your dad 🙁. My husband says the same to my kids and they think I’m the bad one cos they hear me in despair, crying and begging him to stop but he stays silent cos he knows it makes it sound like me. He thrives on them taking his side. Like he’s feeding off them. I’m sure you aren’t hurting ppl around you, it’s just way it looks and your struggling. It’s perfectly ok to not turn to him. I have a situation soon that I should be doing that but I can’t so I’ll be ignoring it. Sometimes I I want him to hug me (I know messed up) and sometimes not but I don’t tell him I want a hug cos I know it will be taken like…. Oh good she’s better now. I told him stop calling me sweetheart and that too, can’t bare it. I think it’s easier for them to just blame us. I hope you have a better time, go out and clear your head. You will see what’s happening and have to stick to your truth.
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Catjam i just wanted to say I am so sorry you lost your Dad. Please put yourself first, ignore what your husband is saying and doing to try and manipulate the situation. It is just not about him right now and you need to be kind to yourself. You are not hurting people around you, it sounds like you are just confused and lonely and you need time to work out what to do for the best. Look after yourself. x
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