- This topic has 4 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 9 months, 3 weeks ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
My entire life I’ve felt worthless, unloved and unwanted. At the very least a regret and a mistake.
I feel like my family wanted me to be a boy but instead they got me and have punished me for it. On top of that I was labelled a tomboy and as if I was rubbing salt in the wound I had unknowingly created they ruthlessly punished me by reminding me I wasn’t a boy (which felt like they were reminding me I wasn’t what they wanted) and I should be a certain way. No matter which way I was though it never seemed to enough. I was always compared to (detail removed by Moderator) which always felt unobtainable as it was like comparing an apple to an orange.
My emotions were always too much. Anytime I showed physical pain I was “being a baby”.
My existence always seemed to be a problem. If I spoke I was being too loud, if I breathed I was being too loud, if I moved I was in the way, if I needed something I was too much.
To get my parents to pay attention to me I have to start some sort of conflict but then nothing gets resolved because I get accused of causing an issue and being dramatic.I just feel like I don’t belong, like I’m not enough, like I’m unworthy and it’s a lot of effort with ramifications rather than reciprocations.
-
Can I just say you are not unwanted here or unloved and definitely not worthless. I no it’s hard when you have felt that for so long. You are wanted here you are loved and you are worthwhile.i no it’s hard to do but one thing I try and do for myself when i feel that way is I try and repeat to myself positive things others have said to me.it takes time.
Thinking of you -
Thank you for your reply determinedtobhappy.
That’s what I’m struggling with most. I’ve never been told anything positive about myself. Or at least I don’t remember being told anything positive. I’ve tried telling myself positive things like I am worthy etc. it feels like I’m trying to convince myself of a lie though.
I literally feel like I have to start from scratch but without the innocent naivety -
I get the struggling with believing the positives, I no you don’t know me but I see the positives in your writing.
You are doing so much positive by coming here and writing, saying how you feel and wanting things better.that takes courage. I was once told its easier to believe the negatives about ourselves because to not believe can question what we have known all our lives.
You are worth so much more than you believe about yourself. You are worthwhile -
I also think wsometimes we have to start at the very bottom and rebuild upwards; i think its a life long learning process
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
