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I’ve not had good luck every relationship but one has been abusive and even that one was a bit manipulative.but the sad thing about it is I don’t know why I’ve attracted these men other than I’m too nice and have bad judge of character try and see the best in people .i knew from the beginning he was very bossy but accepted it as his character I’ve always took people how I find them now I know it’s not good to do this .i always saw the bossiness as nothing but now I’m getting old and it hurts that this is not the first time I’m sad I’m doing this again with another man who had took my life away again and I’ve never got a good person who will treat me right I’ve looked after every man even financially even if they worked or didn’t my finances were there and I called it love.i don’t know what love is now.what is it?why did he beg for kids and do this to me I didn’t need to have them if he really didn’t want me I do love them but no more for him and they wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him and I’d be living my life .i don’t know how to feel about all this alone again like this with no support.i don’t want a support worker I’m planning to go to my g.p but find it hard to talk I just want some medication.i can only express on here .I’m starting to think he might not even have the correct name and wishing I got more evidence I was even thinking about breaking into his home this is how mad I’ve got to want answers as I know he’s got something hidden but I only just realised I’m wishing I got it before he left I’m just deverstated.thanks for listening
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Dear Mellow, I’m awake reading your post and thinking… if only I could be sat beside you there and put my arm around you. I’d tell you I understand ❤️
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Hi Mellow,
I’m really sorry things are tough right now.
I’m glad you are opening up conversations with your GP. You may have already done so, but counselling is really helpful. I think they can help you to realise things about yourself, especially where you talk about what you look for in relationships.
It is hard to understand why abusers have certain demands and motivations- where you talk about why he wanted children. Usually it is purely for selfish reasons sometimes it can be because it looks good to other people to have a family, so they have an exterior to hide behind. Could these be a possibility?
From what your saying it sounds like you can see you are a kind person that sees the best in people. Hopefully you can then see what you can offer to the new person that deserves to be in your life. I think the counselling can assist you with putting in necessary boundaries.
Personally for me I threw myself into dating immediately which did me more harm than good. I’ve always put someone else ahead of myself up until that point where I decided it was time to show myself some love. I gave the dating apps a rest.
As for the last part, I would highly recommend steering clear of him and his property, there’s no need to put yourself at risk. You don’t need to anticpate his steps, you can only deal with the problems that are presented to you.
Try and find some support that works for you, whether that’s friends, family, making new friends, starting a hobby- if you are up to it. Or even having a plan or intention to do so. I know that your in a difficult stage. But please try and focus on the positives and eveything you’ve achieved so far.
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